Athmaavalokana - Reflections of my soul

Life comes a full circle

2011-11-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

What goes out always comes back - I guess we have heard this umpteen times. I have had at least 3 examples that this actually happens:

1. A close friend of mine had fought with me because I had decided to marry my husband. He was not willing to accept that I should be marrying this person and we had had a bitter fight. With that he stopped talking to me completely. I accepted it and let him be. Though I had personally gone to his house to invite him for my wedding, though he was there in the house when I went, he chose not to talk to me. All the while, I did not understand that he was not talking to me because other common friends had dropped in at the same time. It took me several minutes to see that he was not talking to me, not even acknowledging my presence. Anyways, I gave him my wedding card and left - obviously, he chose not to attend. This happened in 2001

2. Way back in 1997, I had a very close friend during my masters days. And she had heard from someone that I was spreading wrong rumors that she was in relationship with another classmate of ours. This actually made her angry and not want to talk to me. I explained to her that it was not I that was spreading the rumors but she chose not to listen to me

Fast Forward to 2 years ago

1) I receive a call from this person that I dont recognize. This person asks, "Vidya, will you be at home this saturday? I want to come over and give you my wedding invitation". I am like, "who is this?" And this person says, "someone you know, but I dont want to reveal now".

Eventually I found out that this person was that close friend who had fought with me over my decision to marry my husband. Immediately I called him and asked him not to come to my house and meet me. I told him very clearly that friends should accept you who you are and be there through thick and thin. He had chosen to desert me when I needed him and now, I had moved on. I did not want him in my life any more. So, this time, I chose to keep him away from my life for ever.

2) A year from that incident, this friend during my masters days came back and apologised to me. She said she had realized that it was not me who had spread those rumors. Though I was glad she uncovered the truth sadly, I had moved on. I did not want her back in my life as she had no trust on her friend. She had chosen to trust someone else over her friend.

The third instance is more of self-guilt situation I guess. I had taken my son to the park. And habitually I had carried his water bottle with me. An old lady approached me and said that her grand daughter was very thirsty and asked if I could share some water with her. I said it was not possible and that my son had drunk from it and he was not well. I fumed as to why people never came prepared when they brought kids to parks. - Now, I wait for the day, when this will come back to me in some form :(

With these three incidents and many more - I am now a firm believer of this adage - what goes out always comes around !!!

Meaning of "Annu"

2011-11-23T04:45:00.000-08:00

In Konkani or Amchigele, we call our father, "Anna or Annu". Today, as the priest was performing the 12th day ritual at my uncle's house, he explained how the word "Anna or Annu" was derived. Apparently, the word was derived from "Anna" or Rice meaning food earner or Anna (Rice) earner of the family.

As usual, we use or follow so many of rituals blindly and wont even know the meaning behind each of them... Glad I found out this one :)

Kids !!!

2011-11-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

My father and his brothers and the extended family had gathered at my uncle's place to pray for my uncle's soul to rest in peace.

While the priests were performing the rituals and chanting the mantras, we all cousins used it as an opportunity to sit in the adjoining room to catch up.

We started talking about our kids and how it is impacting us and difference between how we were and how they are...

My sister complained that my niece seldom writes down the homework, even if she has noted the homework to-do, she leaves behind the respective book back in school. Just does not want to own up her school work and do it herself..

Not to be left behind, my cousin's wife mentioned that her daughter had lost the diary in which she had to note down her daily homework.

And we were discussing the laughs, rants, cries of our children. My aunt came in excitedly and said... hey do you know what Manya said? (Manya, is the latest entrant into my big, fun-loving, awesome family. She is all of 2 years old). We asked enthusiastically, "What?"

Aunt apparently asked Manya, "Manya dear, what do you call your father - annu (in my mother tongue, konkani) or Daddy?".

Pat came Manya's reply, "I call him Sunder" (is her dad's name)

All of us were ROFL

Inquisitiveness?

2011-11-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

I dont know if I should say people are inquisitive about your life or are they just looking for "something like me or my life in yours" kind of an experience.

I know this girl who wanted to get married very badly. And she did. The last I heard was that she was having MIL issues and is now contemplating moving into a separate house with her spouse. People have so many advises to her - what cannot you adjust with your MIL? Why are you breaking a family? etc. Do we ever stop to think what this girl may be going through? Are we not concluding on a 1-sided story?

There is yet another one that eks out a living working at a Bank's BPO. She took her father's place once he died and has been supporting her family. She has decided to sacrifice her life to support her aged, ailing mother and un-married, studying brother and never get married. She is financially backward, no-doubt. But why do people think she does not have self-respect? They do not invite her for ceremonies within the family circle and other people who dont know about this expect her to attend these ceremonies. When she shares the cause with them, they just raise their hands and walk away... Why even trigger such conversation in the first place and hurt her sentiments and then raise your hand and go away?

In any family, there are fights. And I have had and continue to have my share of them - with myself, spouse, kids, what not. There are times when I really get frustrated and recently posted couple of outbursts on a much more public site - Facebook. Immediately, someone from my family read it and called someone else wanting to know if all was well between me and my husband... and i was like, "What the hell"... You may not post it on FB like I did...but does not mean you do not have your fairshare of such fights/arguments with whosoever in your life. Does this mean you have the right to conclude on someone else' life without talking/verifying with them? Why dont you just read it for what it is and move on? Like the post if you like it, leave a comment or just move on!!!

Aditi - isms

2011-11-17T05:10:00.001-08:00

Aditi is my 4 year old daughter. I named her Aditi because per mythology, Aditi was sage kashyapa's wife who gave birth to all the devas. :)

One day, Aditi came to me and asked, "amma, what is Pai". I was thrilled that she was asking about "Pai" (Pai, being my maiden sur name and family name, I take real pride in!!!) I sat her down and said, "Like your appa is an Iyengar, my family is called Pai. Her next question stumped me. She asked, "Then, what is Jama". That was when I realized she had split the word "pyjama" into "py" and "jama"...LoL

*****-----****

Aditi, lets talk about the alphabets. A for Apple, B for Ball, C for Cat, D for?
Pat came the response, "Rabbit"

****-------*****

Appa: Aditi what do you call an Eagle in Tamil?
Aditi: Urla-Kalanga
Appa: Laughs out loud... ille di, Eagle is Kanaga; Urla-Kalanga is Potato and Eagle is not equal to Potato
Aditi: Blinks

*****--------****

Amma: By the time you guys grow up, I would have become old
Aditi: Then, how come I am not seeing any white hair on your head?

*****---------*****

Of Highs and Lows

2011-11-17T05:03:00.000-08:00

Life has come a full circle for me this week. I have seen death, blood, and tears...

Through all these incidents, I learnt a lesson. Life gives us only so many opportunities to rectify our faundering ways and to make amends to those people we love so much. But that's to it. And if you do not use these opportunities, you will see time passing by and the person passing away - leaving behind you and the guilt of not making your loved one happy. Trust me, this can be one heck of a situation to be in.

As children, we make so many mistakes. Imagine a situation where you have made a terrible mistake and hurt your parents. What happens when your father or mother passes away? Here you are with the realization of the hurt you gave them... but no means of making up to them whatsoever.

I remember a time when I deliberately hurt my parents over small things like talking to boys (my father, in particular, is very orthodox and he hated that his daughter speaks to boys at college), going to movies with boys (even if that gang had a good number of girls and boys) or go for a cup of coffee with a "boy" friend). I did so deliberately for two reasons - one, I saw nothing wrong in having friends who are boys and did not want to hide from my parents that I do talk to boys because I think it is ok to do so... two, it was my way of rebeling against him for sending me off to stay at my granny's place for 2 years during my high school period.

But as I grew up, started understanding them better, I realized what a dud I was to rebel against them. They were only trying to protect me from this big, bad world... sigh!! Luckily, Life gave me a chance to make amends and reciprocate their feelings/thoughts by studying well and doing well in life. Today they are proud of their daughter...

However, we need to remember that we will never know when a loved one will be taken away from us. So, why do wait to make amends? Why don't we do it now?

Temples and wealth

2011-08-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

At lunch today, 2 colleagues and I were talking about money and temples. The discussion started with today's news that India would be giving money to bail out Europe's economy. And the thought was anyways our politicians have so much money in Swiss Bank accounts which are black (unaccounted). This is a golden opportunity to convert it to white. May be they will have a red book in which they will maintain these transactions - ki kisne kitna diya hai operation Europe Bailout ke liye and what should they get in return.

Our conversation turned to the Padmanabhaswamy temple riches of 1000 Lakh crores. Concern - how sure are we that our greedy bereaucrats and politicians will not "eat" into this pie? How sure are we that the riches will still remain with Lord Padmanabhaswamy and will not decorate a neck of someone's wife? Or kith or kin?

Sample Tirupati - a ticket to expedite the darshan time used to cost Rs. 50/- several years ago. Now, they have introduced another ticket priced at Rs. 300/- but the darshan time today is the same time that you would spend on a Rs. 50/- ticket 5 years ago - 3-4 hours. Considering a lakh devotees take the Rs. 300/- ticket on any day, the amount Tirupati gets to make is Rs. 300,00000/- and this is purely based on 1 single type of ticketing. Other than this, there is the Rs. 40/- and Rs. 50/- tickets and the several special darshans priced high (above Rs. 1001/- and above, upto Rs. 25,000). Despite this, there is bribe everywhere. While you are standing in the line, someone will come and give you kumkum and say it is directly from the God. you are excited that this should come to you, of all people and you start feeling special. But this feeling lasts only for a fleeting second - that person forwards his hand and asks you to pay for it!!! :(
There is bribe even to get a glimpse of Lord Venkateshwara for a moment long, bribe for extra laddoos, bribe for lodging, everything ... And right in front of the Lord's eyes... Where is this going to end? Or is there an end?

I guess, only Lord Padmanabhaswamy and/or Lord Venkateshwara can answer this question!!!

Bed Time Stories

2011-08-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

Every night, I have to tell 1 (or 2) bed time stories to my daughter. She will not sleep without hearing at least 1.

The challenge is, i have to tell her a story of only animals and that too of her choice. She might say, tell me a story of rhino and tiger or zebra and monkey - i have to let my imaginations fly, concoct a story and tell her, lest she starts crying... sigh!!! I just cannot see her crying...especially seeing tears in those beautiful eyes breaks my heart :)

So, what do I do? Tweak the stories that I know, replace characters and tell the same to her in various ways. Like last week, she wanted to hear a story of crow and fox. And this is what I told her:

"One day, there was a thirsty crow. He was looking for water to drink. Enroute, he met a fox. He asked the fox if there was drinking water in the vicinity. The fox, since is very cunning animal, decided to fool the crow and said, "Yes, a little further from here, you will find a pot filled with water". The crow was happy and flew in the guided direction. It did find a pot with water underneath. And what did it do? Started dropping pebbles in the pot, and once the water came up, it drank to its content and flew away. The fox had followed the crow and saw how intelligent the crow was. It felt extremely ashamed of its behavior and apologised to the crow"

How is that for imagination?

Life

2011-08-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Anything that is being born is beautiful,

Why do we like spring?

All the trees are giving "birth" to new leaves, flowers, fruits. We get to see them right from their birth till they grow up - isn't nature beautiful?

There is a new life being born and it is beautiful. I was so excited when I came to know I was going to be a mom!!! I did not mind losing my shape and look dowdy, I was so looking forward to seeing the cutie pie that was gonna come out of my stomach (well, not literally!!!)

Against all the anger, cribs, madness - I still love my kiddos... every night when I kiss them good bye... it makes me feel SO good !!! Giving birth to a new Life - and see it grow and flourish in front of your eyes - is so blissful experience

Such is Life :(

2011-08-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

We have a colleague who had gone on maternity leave. She delivered a healthy, chubby baby and the baby is currently 6 months old.

Yesterday, a friend pinged over IM and said, "Did you hear about this team member?"
And as usual, any goss at office, I would be the last one to know... I responded, "No, what happened?"

Friend typed, "Her husband, apparently, expired in an accident on Saturday"
I: oh..God...what happened?
Friend: Apparently he had gone out on a team outing and they were returning by car. And the car was hit by behind. Sadly, he was the only one who was hit and died on the spot. Nothing happened to the rest of the occupants..

I could not respond - what kind of fate was this that snatched a loving dad from a 6-months old baby? A loving husband from a nice, beautiful girl? A son from old parents?

No answers!!

Jeevana Vichitra

2011-07-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my mom and aunt yesterday. They were recounting their experiences from the spiritual discourses they have been attending.

To illustrate how "Punya" or good deeds works was the story of Akrura (from Mahabharata).

One of Akrura's ancestor was King Suphala and Queen Satyavathy (the same sathyavathy, who gives birth to Vyasa Maharshi, Bheeshma's Step-mother). King Suphala had earned so many merits that which ever land he stepped into never knew draught. The land would always be green with all seasons adhering to their timings and courses through the year. Queen Sathyavathy was a celestial damsel who earns a curse to be born as a human princess. However, her merits are so powerful that she plays a key role in creating Mahabharata by pushing Bheeshma out as heir-apparent.

Mahabharata is a story that we can very well relate to - And needless to say, my favorite among the 2 epics. The story and sub-stories have numerous learnings in them and Bhagavadgita itself is like drinking nector... My heartfelt wish is that some day I quit my job and stay back at home reading these epics along with upanishads. Hope to realize this dream soon!!!

My "big" little daughter

2011-01-12T05:59:00.003-08:00

My favourite sleep time statement to my daughter is this: (Aditi is her name. I call her Aditu)

Aditu, after your anna (elder brother) was born, I started praying to God “God, please give me a kutti little daughter”. God heard me and one day told me “As a birthday gift, I will give you a small baby”. And lo behold, you were there in my tummy. Eventually when my tummy became very big, the doctor aunty cut it open (It was a C-Section ) and pulled you out. So, you see, I love you so very much and you are my very best friend.

She used to hear this “rote” story every day. Eventually she asked “So, if I pray god to give me a baby, will I also get one”

Needless to say, next day onwards, my routine dialogue changed !!!

My "big" little daughter

2011-01-12T05:59:00.001-08:00

Matru Devo Bhava

2011-01-12T05:58:00.001-08:00

My neighbour’s mother was a 92 years old lady, highly diabetic. She would not sleep without eating a TBSP of sugar every night despite her diabetic state.

2 months ago, her feet had started to rot and hence it was amputated. Owing to the age factor, She was in the ICU. Doctors had really thought she was not going to make it. But in a month’s time she started showing remarkable recovery symptoms.
One evening, while the old lady was still in ICU, I was talking to my neighbour’s wife. She said “Ayyo, we have not gone to the hospital at all. At home, myself, my DIL, my grandson – all of us have fever and have not been able to visit the old lady”
I was actually shocked to hear that she had not gone to the ICU to check on her MIL. I was also wondering what kind of a talk was she walking herself. She already has a DIL. If she does not take care of her MIL, would her DIL take care of her when she becomes old and bed-ridden?
And then, we complain that daughers-in-law don’t care for mothers-in-law. Who sets this example?

Thank You - Cindy

2011-01-12T05:56:00.001-08:00

This post is a “Thanksgiving” to one of my American Senior Leader – Cindy.

I was told that she was a force to reckon – very particular about quality of deliverables and very strict. This became evident with the weekly calls that she insisted we should have (she and her DR team + me and my DR team).

I was desperate for a breakthrough in our relationship, that eluded me for no reason. And before long, our company went through a major transformation. With that, Cindy moved into a different area. But since my projects were associated with her role and responsibilities, she insisted that we have monthly status meetings – and I was happy to set them up !!!

It was during this time that my team was working on a very high visibility, highly critical project. Sadly, the team composition made it an uphill task to complete a simple project such as this – leading to 2.5 months of sheer hard work and tension. Those were the most difficult and sleepless nights i ever spent on a project in this organization. I had never expected to see a project crumbling like this one.

At that time, when everywhere there was finger pointing and my delivery capabilities were under scrutiny, one unexpected person who supported me was Cindy. Over the monthly status meeting, I was apologising to her on the mess this project had become. She immediately said “Vidya, don’t be so hard on yourself. Look at this project as a lesson learnt. Lot of mistakes have happened on this project – people moved at wrong time, ownership changed, Non-functional requirements were not adequately captured, Business did not come back with their Non-functional requirements early on. Considering all this – we should purely look at this project as a lesson learnt – nothing but that. So, don’t penalize yourself”.

I cannot express how much consolation these words brought to me. I had buried myself into work and was really not facing anybody (including my peers). I had started sensing that people were looking at me with doubts in their eyes. But Cindy’s words changed me completely. I felt better immediately. From next day onwards, I stopped worrying so much about the result and stopped berating myself as the cause. Started focusing on action items and soon brought the project into a deliverable state.

Needless to say, although this project was not HIGHLY successful, I am happy to say that we did deliver the project to our business. They were, indeed, happy to see the application working well 90% of the time and mapped to all their needs (along with the few errors they were seeing!!!).

So, in the end, it did end well

Cindy – post this conversation with you, I realized why everyone thought you were such a good leader. It taught me a lesson that we should support our teams not just in wins but also in failures – motivate them to do better. No wonder, you have reached this high in this organization. I am very fortunate to be working with you. Thank you for guiding and supporting me through this tough time. I will never forget this….

Amsterdam Diary

2010-11-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

Here I am, sitting at the Schiphol terminal, Amsterdam waiting for my connecting flight to Minneapolis (MNPLS or MPLS). It had been a while since I had travelled out of the country. May be I had forgotten or may be, age has caught up with me, every bone in my body aches after the flights from Bangalore to Dubai (4 hours) and Dubai to Amsterdam (7 hours) - not to mention the 4 hours wait time at Dubai :(

While Dubai airport becons one to shop, shop and shop (Dubai duty free is a huge shopping experience right at the Dubai airport - I am planning to check this out on my way back !!!)

Upon my arrival at Amsterdam airport, first thing that greeted me were bunches and bunches of Tulips. I forgot that the famous Rekha-Bacchan song - Dekha ek khwab to yeh silsile hue - was shot here...

The airport in itself is HUGE - as all international airports. However, this one represents the country's culture far better. The blue ceramics for which Holland is famous for is on sale at the airport - however a small pair of shoes or key chain costs 3 or 4 Euros.

As usual, my Indian Mentality automatically kicked in... I started converting 1 euro = x INR - OMG !!! that's huge money. Let me not buy anything here.... So, although I was attracted to some very neat pieces of blue ceramics and lindt chocolates, I did not buy any of them... so much for being an Indian.

Will i ever stop converting, stop thinking about money and just buy whatever I want? Without thinking of the money I am going to spend... ???

Dubai Diary

2010-11-21T20:49:00.001-08:00

I landed at Dubai International Airport at 11.30 Indian time (9 p.m. local time)

I see Dubai with a mix of fear, apprehension, and awe - fear because I have read and heard stories of what happens to people who get caught in the wrong side of law - the punishment is gruesome.

Apprehension - my first time here and the airport is huge with more than 260 gates. Takes a long time to go from one gate to the other... Will I get lost? Will I find my connecting flight to Amsterdam? As it is, the kingfisher flight to Dubai was late by 1 hour 5 mins.

Awe because the airport is such. It is immensely clean, provides great facilities to a traveler (including free wi-fi connectivity) and shopping kiosks... :D

Luckily, as I was heading out of the aircraft, I saw this bespectacled person walking beside me. I asked him if he were bound for Amsterdam. He said yes and he would go all the way to MPLS. I was glad - i had company. If not for anything, at least to find gates and terminals and not get lost.!!!

Terribly tired and out of sleep... Missing my home, my bed and the kids. Each time, I hug Aditi and sleep - and once both of them are sound asleep, I wake up, hug and kiss them, say "I love you" to both before hitting the bed...

Sigh....

Aditi started school

2010-06-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

And I am a happy mother !!!

Yes, Aditi has joined Play Group at Euro Kids. I am particularly happy with this branch of Euro Kids. They really have very good teachers, they take care of the kids and kids really stop crying within 2-3 days.

I have seen this with both my kids - they have just liked going to Euro Kids.

First two days, I had to go with her, stay with her through the 1 hour and then get her back home. She was comfortable because amma was with her.

Third day, she was not aware that I would drop her at the gate and go back. Once she realized this, she started howling and did not stop howling till i picked her up.

Fourty day - she was much better. She pretended to cry till she was at her class' threshold. And then curiousity took over. She had stopped crying and had started observing her surroundings.

Fifth day - she was cool as cucumber. Took her bag, went in without kicking any fuss....

Sigh... she is growing up each day... and I am growing old each day!!! LoL :)

Tale of Rings

2010-06-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

One of my husband's cousins, who is an astrologer, suggested that I wear 2 rings made of 2 different gem stone. Now, I am one who believes "never leave an opportunity to buy gold" - so what if this can be eyed as me being superstitious....

So, off I went, purchased the stone and got the ring made. And after practicing the rituals to wear the ring, when I wore it on my right fingers, I realized I was no better than Phantom.

That evening, I was telling my son about this - and he had not heard about the Phantom story. I walked him through the fantasy of Kit Walker, who promises on his father's skull to fight piracy. I went on to talk about the skull cave, the diamond glass, phantom's rings - the "good" swastik and the "bad" skull rings.

And I added "see, next time you throw a tantrum, I am going to punch you with my right fist. This would leave 2 marks on your chin -very much like phantom.

Immediately, my son shot back "Nope, not phantom. The marks will be that of a "Fat" "Amma"

Since then, he refers to my rings as "Fat Amma" Rings!!!

Letter to the forest department

2010-06-08T03:57:00.000-07:00

Today morning, my husband requested me to write a letter in Kannada addressing to the Forest Department Officials.

And this truly was a humbling and embarassing experience. I realized, although I am a born, brought up in karnataka person, I do not know how to write a letter in kannada.

For instance, I did not know how to write "Respected Sir" and "Sub" and "Trim the tree". It was so bad that eventually, I wrote the word "trim" in kannada alphabets and instead of "Respected Sir", I wrote "Respected Helper"....

Any person reading the letter is bound to be offended and I would not be surprised if s/he refuses to help my husband.

But - good thing is that since the letter is from my husband to the forest department officials, in all possibilities, they will believe that the letter was written by him.

If you are seeing 2 devil horns behind my head - you are correct :P

Technology Training

2010-06-08T03:54:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in a technical training session. This did not happen by accident. After what seems ages, I enrolled, consciously with both eyes open, into a technical training course on Sharepoint 2010.

I thought - so what if I am in the management cadre? Learning and keeping updated with technology will always do me good.

And with this thought at the back of my head, I nominated myself and my manager approved.

However, while the class itself is going on well - sadest part (and the part I dislike the most) is that there is no hands-on practicals as they do not have the necessary environment.

How can I learn any technology without hands-on? If I need a theory session, I can as well read up about this on the internet or Microsoft Official site. I am so very disappointed.

Anger Management

2010-06-08T03:51:00.000-07:00

Nope, I am not talking about the movie.

I have been taking counselling sessions on anger management. One of the tips I received was to start observing my breath when I start getting angry.

BUT - when I am truly angry - the only thing I do NOT do - is watching my breath.

How am I suppose to remember doing that when all I can do is shake in a fit of rage?

Seriously welcome any tips on this.

May be, a reading of "Power of Now" might help me - someone has vastly recommended this book. I am going to try and read this and see if I can learn a thing or two about how I can manage my anger better.

Cannot stay away

2010-06-08T03:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was feigning to be very busy and did try staying away from blogging. For no apparent reason.
I just did not feel like blogging.

So, abstained myself for a period of good 3 months, I suppose.

Must say, this was a refreshing break... and now, I have so many stories to blog... Isn't it good?

But I must confess...staying away did not do me good...there were several instances when I caught myself almost logging into the blog site to share my story :P

Frustration

2010-06-08T03:46:00.000-07:00

I am truly frustrated today. After my baby sitter went through a surgery to set right her oesophagus blockage; I have been making a conscious effort to cook soft breakfast such as Idly, Dosa, Pongal etc - which are soft to chew.

After trying out everything, today, I tried my hand at preparing cucumber kadabu. This kadabu can be made both spicy as well as sweet. The batter for the spicy kadabu became a bit thin. So, after the steaming, the top layer had become quity soggy. But it did taste good.

However, my baby sitter saw that soggy layer and refused to eat the kadabu. She adamantly prepared dosa for herself (I always keep dosa batter in the fridge for emergencies).

I was FURIOUS. Could see myself shake from head to toe.

And this is a lady who will not have anything to eat at home if she stops earning her salary. A person who is really struggling because her husband does not earn anything. Rather, whatever he earns he spents on booze...

What do I do with people like this? Should I call it ego? Should I call it "Pride"?

How do I handle this at all?

Hallu Iddavarige Kadale

2010-02-16T23:00:00.001-08:00

I was adjusting the water temperature for the hand shower preparing for my bath. That is when I realized how apt the above adage was.
During summer, when there is ample sun and the solar energy gives really HOT water... we don't want it. But during winter, we crave for HOT water, which we rarely get.
I started wondering if there is a way we could save all the solar energy during summer to use it during winter/rainy season. What a bliss it would be to get HOT water when you really want it...
BTW, there are 4 variations of this adage, I want to share as I find them funny:
1. Hallu iddavarige Kadale Illa, Kadale iddavarige Hallu Illa
--- those who have teeth will not have groundnuts to eat; those who have groundnuts will not have teeth
2. Kudalu iddavarige Bachanige illa, Bachanige iddavarige kudalu illa
--- those who have hair will not have a comb; those with the comb will not have hair
3. Kelasa illade anubhava illa, anubhava illade kelasa illa
--- no work without experience - no experience without job
4. Hucchu bidade maduve illa - maduve aagade hucchu bidolla :P
--- last, but not the least "without marriage your lunacy will not be cured; without lunacy being cured you cannot get married
Do share if you have heard other variations ...

J in Bangalore

2010-02-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

My friend, J, who moved to UK along with her husband is coming to Bangalore on a 3 weeks vacation.
The reason I am mentioning this here is because I saw a curious phenomenon. J had sent an email telling S and I about her impending visit. And we are very excited about J's Bangalore visit.
Then, it happened. Multiple people in the organization started pinging/calling/walking over to me just to tell me about J's impending visit to Bangalore. And they casually start "Hi Vidya... do you know J is coming to Bangalore" and I am like "oh..yeah...she told me..."
Then I started thinking about this. Why are these people, who normally never talk to me, pinging me to tell about J?
Several conclusions:
1. It was very evident that J has managed to retain good relationships with all ex-colleagues not just S and I
2. These people, who still, are in the organization, are really happy about the prospect of meeting J as much as S and I

3. May be they want to see me green with envy (and they largely succeeded !!!) showcasing the fact that they too are J's friends :P

Refreshing Post

2010-02-10T23:51:00.000-08:00

There are some of us who talk about "India and the Diverse Culture" and some who talk about "East, West, North and South India - the great divide" and some who strive only to create a divide based on language, caste, culture - name it.

Out of all these mayhem, one blog, which I bumped into today, felt so very refreshing. I felt so good reading this piece, that I decided to do a blog post on this blog post :P

Here is the link. Go on - read it and enjoy!!!

Bitter Sweet Memories

2010-02-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night, unusually, I was reminscing about few bitter memories surrounding my dad and maternal uncle that have stayed with me. And they refuse to leave me and go. They not only haunt me time-to-time but torment me mercilessly.

I have just 1 maternal uncle. But he has always liked my sister more than me. He has been very vocal about his choice when he used to tell to his friends and relatives “S is my favorite niece”. This could possibly be because of the fact that I have always been rebellious in my nature – especially when restricted. But then, everyone wants to be loved. I felt (feel ?) so sad to accept that he loved my sister more than I.

In particular, I remember the following incidents:

I studied in all girls school. During 9th standard, school had organized a day long trip to Belur and Halebidu. My entire class was going and even I wanted to go. When I sought permission, my uncle refused to let me go. I truly don’t understand why. When I started rebelling, he asked me to talk to my dad. And even my dad refused to let me go. What was worst – they were not giving me any logical reason for denying me permission. Again, I had to create a hungama to get permission and finally did manage to go on this trip. But at what cost?

I wanted to learn to ride a 2-wheeler. My dad never had anytime nor patience to teach his girls himself. My uncle offered to teach us. One early morning, he took both of us – my sister and I – to the near by ground. I had purchased a new Hero Puch. He said he will teach my sister first. Although, I was disappointed, I accepted to waited for my turn.

And that is what I did for the next 1.5 hours. They did not turn up at all. Tired of waiting and my feet aching all over, I walked back home in a huff. Upon reaching home, he made fun of this situation and promised (not so seriously) to teach me another day. That “another” day NEVER came. But I wanted to learn 2-wheeler. I started pestering my dad to teach me. My dad, if not anything, is an expert in delegating work.

Over the week end, a middle-aged uncle, one of my dad’s reportees came home. He said dad had entrusted him the task of teaching me to ride a 2-wheeler. Although, I was extremely disappointed with my dad, the thought of learning to ride brought cheer.

I took this uncle to the ground along with my new Hero Puch. He asked me to be seated in the driver seat and he sat pillion for ease of teaching. First half hour, he taught me how to balance the vehicle, nuances of riding etc. But very soon, I noticed that his hands started roving at all wrong places of my body. While I was riding the vehicle, he was carassing me all over…

I was so scared that I let go of the bike. We both fell off the bike. I told “Uncle” I wanted to go home. By the time we reached home, my dad had arrived. He asked how did it go. This “Uncle” said it was going on fine but I had asked to go home and he did not understand why.

My dad was furious. He scolded me for missing out on a good opportunity and said he will never engage anybody else to teach me. In many ways, I was happy that he never engaged anybody else to teach me. With whatever little knowledge I had picked up, I went on to learn this myself.

But then, the saddest part, to me, is the fact that my dad did not bother to think or understand the reason beneath my denial to learn from this uncle. Even after I voluntarily told him about this incident, his words left me shocked “I don’t think this uncle is that kind of a person. You are very much mistaken”. — this was the first incident that told me that my father did not trust me.

During college days, one of my classmates, R’s sister was getting married. And we all knew her quite well as we used to visit his place often. The reception was being held in Hotel Ajantha and several of our classmates wanted to go. As was my upbringing, I asked my dad for his permission. And you cannot imagine what his response was – “I will not allow you to go. I know that with the pretext of attending this classmates sister’s reception, you will loaf around cubbon park that falls on the way. You will spoil the name of my family” — second incident that told me he NEVER trusted me.

And, I stopped asking permission from him. From this day, I went on to do all the things I wanted to do ever.

I don’t regret the way I turned out to be. For, I am a much better person and a compassionate human being now. I have grown up and learnt a lot from these incidents. I learnt that if I were brave and did the right things, I did not have to be scared nor tell lies. People tell lies because they are scared, out of sheer fear factor.
I also started taking my own decisions, which made me very responsible. So, in many ways, I have to thank these incidents for the way I have turned out to be
But then, somewhere, it still hurts. I still feel so bitter about these incidents. I have neither been able to forget nor forgive.

Amma Ninna Tolinalli Kanda Naanu

2010-02-09T02:35:00.002-08:00

As far as I can remember, my mother has always been there for me. She has always stood tall and strong and has supported me in all my endeavors and (mis)adventures. She has saved me from my dad’s beatings several times and has allowed me to be my own self doing my own things. She is the reason why I am so independent, successful, well educated person today.

She never hesitated to accept her Iyengar son-in-law, when I announced my decision to marry him. She never let me lose my courage when I lost job owing to recession and took to learning stained glass wanting to start my own business (which never took off, incidentally)

Though, when I look back, I see she was a wee bit partial to my brother, she has always been there for me. I could always look for that support, understanding and guidance in the years of experience and wisdom she has.

So, yesterday, when she called me to say that she had severe pain in the lower back and was unable to get up, I could not believe what I was hearing.

To me, she is still young. I have failed to realize as I have grown up, she has grown older. Her bones are not as strong as they used to be. Her shoulders have become frail carrying the luggage of all these years. My eyes grew moist. I took half day off from office to take her to the ortho.

Luckily it was just a muscle sprain and nothing else. But this incident was an eye opener. It felt as if I was close to losing her forever and the pain I went through was excruciating.

She knows that how much ever I have grown up, I am still a kid in her eyes. She still wants to protect and safeguard me against this cruel world….

I shudder to think what will happen when she is not with me anymore….

Innocent Musings

2010-02-09T02:35:00.000-08:00

S P Balasubramanyam, the veteran playback singer who has sung in several languages, has released an album of prayers for the kids. It is titled “Chants for Children”.
I really liked the idea as this album contains simple shlokas with SPB as the lead singer and kids joining the chorus. This album has shlokas such as Agajanana padmarkam, gurur brahma gurur vishnu, namastestu mahamaye, shuklambaradharam, etc.
So happy was I to hear this album, I decided to download this from Nokia’s Music Store onto my cell phone. After successfully downloading few chants, I decided to play them during bed time – instead of the usual story time.
When the 2nd chant was playing, my son asked: - “Amma, are these children very poor?”
I answered (ears allover) “No, why”
Pat came the response “Then, why are they singing like this?”
Actually the chorus in these chants comes across very amateurish – more like street kids singing for money.
I could not help laughing at his observations.

How should I answer this?

2010-01-25T01:25:00.000-08:00

I had picked up a copy of Junior Chandamama for my kids. In that, they have a cartoon series that introduces an animal or a bird to its readers. This introduction is setup as an introduction with the animal or bird by a small girl who asks questions like "Where do you live?, what kind of food do you eat? What other species do you have? etc. In this edition, they were introducing the Fox.
The small girl who was "interviewing" the animal was dressed like a jungle-bred girl - basically a green skirt drawn to give it a grass-like look. And had not worn anything on top.
My daughter, to whom, I was explaining the features of a fox, suddenly stopped me and asked "Amma, this akka has not worn anything on top. She is half-naked, Right?"

Its all in our mind

2010-01-24T22:51:00.000-08:00

Several times I had heard that if you want something to happen, just think about it and believe in your thought – and Lo Behold ! it will come true.

I had not believed this enough. But over the week end, I truly experienced this -

1. I was searching for a particular company’s website that brings teachers (of sports, crafts, any hobby) to learners. I have used their service to learn stained glass and other things 8 years ago. And suddenly I wanted to learn something new, which was the reason I was thinking about them. I thought and thought and thought over the last 3 weeks – their name was lost to me.

But saturday, I talked about this to a friend and also had a positive thought in me when I affirmed that “you know what I am going to find their name soon”. True enough, on my drive back home, as I was searching over google for their name, suddenly, it came back to me. Anyone in Bangalore, who wants to acquire a hobby, please go ahead and check out this company’s website here.

2. Sunday morning, I had a feeling that although my day would go along wonderfully, my maid would be on leave.

And that is exactly what happened – my baby sitter was on leave and maid did not turn up. How did they come to know I was expecting them to take off? God knows…

My husband got breakfast from hotel, I cleaned the utensils and the house, cooked lunch. For the first time in several months, the 4 of us were able to have lunch together and it was good fun. It was truly nice to see my 2.5 years old daughter eat by herself. Thus, the day went on very well, despite smaller hurdles.

It was so amazing to see 2 examples back-2-back where things happened based on my thoughts… I have started consciously thinking positive thoughts so my thoughts can have positive impact on my day :D

"Funny Blog Oscars"

2010-01-22T02:33:00.000-08:00

And the funny Blog Oscar goes to none other than Lostworld.

Time Turns

2010-01-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

Title of a news paper article: Pink Slips in 2009 - Attritions in 2010

How true - last year saw several organizations slicing and dicing hikes, employees, benefits as economy nosedived. Need based hiring was the buzz word and the oxy-moron "Flat Growth" made headlines. But this year, as market is turning around, IT employees are all set to rule the roost. With several organizations hiring, companies are slowly but surely seeing an increase in attrition rates.

"Deemed Universities" - JOKE

2010-01-21T21:54:00.001-08:00

Published on television yesterday:

Question: What did one deemed university say to the other deemed university when they met?
Answer: Nothing. They did not recognize each other

Mother's Letter to her son

2010-01-21T04:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Aakash,

You may think I have lost my nut to be writing a letter to you at a time when I can easily talk to you. But then, you need to understand that you are just 6.5 years old and are at an age when you don't necessarily understand my language - language of a mother.

I am a working mother - working to share the financial burden of running our family along with your father. Together, we both work very hard - to be able to provide good food, clothing, shelter and education to both you and your sister. And I realize that at your age, you are still too young to understand how much we slog to earn whatever we earn.

Monday, you woke up early, switched on TV and kept on watching it for 1 hour without brushing your teeth. Despite repeated reminders from me - you were sitting in front of the idiot box watching without batting your eyelids. All my requests went on to your deaf ears. Eventually, I had to shout at you in order to get you ready in time to catch your school bus. How many days do you think we can take a detoure to drop you to your school before we go to office?

With lot of pain, I had prepared sandwich and it pained me to see you had not eaten at all.

Tuesday, you started the day crying - for no reason. May be you woke up grouchy...but then it is not my fault. You cried because bournvita was not hot enough, you cried to brush your teeth, you cried to take bath... how many tears do you want to shed before realizing things don't work this way in the real world?
Aloo Tikkis I had made, came back as I had packed them. Why at all should i take extra time to steam good old vegetables and convert them into a tasty snack for you?

Evening you created a tantrum to take your medicine. You were so playful that you spilled the medicine. Your appa got so angry, he whacked you. And you went to bed crying. Will you ever know the heart ache and sadness your appa and I went through after this event? Our hearts broke yet another time for punishing you.

Wednesday, you had forgotten your diary at home today. your Madam has sent a note that you waste time sharpening pencils. She has asked me to sharpen them and send them with you. Humph...yet another task to my already overflowing bucket. When will you start taking some responsibility for these small tasks?
Today night, yet again another tantrum - you wanted me to make a corn cup for you. Despite headache and tiredness, I prepared the corn. You did not eat your dinner properly. But did finish the Corp Cup.

Understand that I do all these things because I love you dearly and want you to be happy. I don't want you to think I love only Aditi and not you. There are so many different ways I show my love for you - except that you are not "seeing" it.

Thursday, despite several requests from your appa, you dilly-dallied. You missed your school bus today and we were adamant about NOT dropping you to school today in our car - as we used to do each time there was a delay. We have left you be at home deliberately. I hope this will be a lesson that you will never forget - things will NEVER wait for you - may be once or twice - but never more. So, please learn this lesson and learn well.

Friday, I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day - where you will do everything by yourself, be a good boy, not cry, take your medicines without fuss, eat your breakfast. Please be a nice boy - please understand we are working very hard in order to give you and Aditi a bright future.

With lots of love and hugs,

Yours lovingly,
Amma

New Friend

2010-01-05T03:27:00.000-08:00

I met her first during last week of October. We met by accident. And since that time, I have always been intrigued by her looks, her style statement.

I have always wondered how can she be so posh compared to others in the same group? How can she be so smooth? How can she attract so much attention and why so? What is so special in her?

My triast with her continued as I came to know more about her. Well into November, when I took her around my office, my collegues jaws dropped. It was evident that they were as much at awe with her as I continued to be.

She attracted several "eyes" and "comments" from onlookers. 2 guys on a bike commented aloud for me to hear "Maama, Avalanna nodu... sakkathagiddale" (Man, look at her, she is soooo nice). I laughed. I was proud that she was with me.

Eventually, as I got to know her better, I understood and accepted that she would be there for me as long as I wanted her with me. She would safe guard me always. I realized that she was the best thing to happen to me in the last 3 months - she is my new Fiat Punto

Rising Sun?

2010-01-05T03:19:00.000-08:00

His name is Teja. Right from his birth, he has brought immense happiness and joy to his parents. His father, M, comes from a family that is in distress - their elder son is autistic. Teja's grandparents have spent their entire lifetime looking after their elder son.

M and I became friends during our college days. We studied together for 5 years and continued to stay in touch. M is also my husband, S' best friend. We were there for M's wedding and all the joys that came into their lives afterwords. We have participated and hosted several lunches and have thoroughly enjoyed their company -both M and his wife, B, are very friendly couple and made for each other.

When Teja entered their life, their happiness knew no bounds - he truly was the apple of their eyes.

So, it was very shocking when I heard today that Teja has been diagonsed with Leukemia.

I am very numb and don't know what to say!!!

Long week end and movies

2010-01-04T01:36:00.000-08:00

I was on leave from December 30th until January 3rd. That was quite a long break with a long week end thrown in.

For the first time in 6 years, S and I watched 2 movies in theatre in a span of 5 days and made up for not watching any over last 6 years.

We watched Avatar (3D) and 3 Idiots. Here are some reviews:

Avataar (3D)

* Movie is awesome
* I liked Neytiri's character and the Na'vi tribe
* Loved those animals - would possibly like to ride one of them - the one that flies ;)
* I loved the forest created on Pandora - Given a choice, I would go live on Pandora (which incidentally is the name of the moon earthlings choose to invade for mineral rock.
* The 3D glasses were not of good quality. Hence did not truly give the effect one would expect
* Loved all the action and special effects
* Watching the movie in a multiplex was worth all the money

3 Idiots

* 50% straight lift from Chetan Bhagat's book - Five Point Someone - what not to do in IIT - though Aamir Khan and Vidhu Vinod Chopra have openly disagreed - I have read this book and watched the movie
* Lovely movie over all - amazing to note the ease with which Aamir Khan, Madhavan and Sraman Joshi portray the characters of 3 college going dudes. They truly don't look their age
* You will LOVE Boman Irani as Viru Sahasrabuddhi (VIRUS) :)
* Kareena's role is good
* Mona Kapoor was the surprise but (un)wanted package. Actually they could have "lifted" the last piece from Chetan's novel and that would have made a better ending to the "restication" story
* Talented actor - Javed Jaffery is wasted. They could have got somebody else to do that role
* Loved Chatur and his speech - hilarious and apt
* Ending was very surprising and nice.
* Word of Caution - This movie is highly infectious. Watch at your own risk

New Year with ZOO ZOO

2010-01-04T01:24:00.001-08:00

Tribute to Sahasa Simha Vishnuvardhan

2009-12-30T21:03:00.000-08:00

I was preparing Masala Dosa for breakfast and there were no onions for the "Bhaji". I had sent S to the market to buy onions. He came running in 10 minutes and said "Vidya, Vishnuvardhan sath hodranthe. TV haaku" (Vidya, itseems vishnuvardhan has died, switch on the TV for more news).

And truly, when we switched on TV 9, it was all there. The revered actor had indeed succumbed to Cardiac Arrest in Mysore. And it was a sad day for Kannada Film Industry as we lost 2 stars in 1 day - C Ashwath (Kanchina Kantha) and Dr. Vishnuvardhan (Sahasa Simha).

Vishnu's career in Kannada Industry was always marred by the incident that took place on the sets of Gandhada Gudi. People have always believed that he tried to "kill" Dr. Rajkumar with a live bullet - though nobody on the sets knew how and why a live bullet was put into the mock gun that was used to shoot a fighting scene in the movie.

Despite this, with sheer hard work, grit and determination, he slowly carved a place in our hearts. His role in several movies are unforgettable - Ramachari in Nagarahavu, Bandhana, Aapthamitra, Suryavamsha, Kalla Kulla - several songs are unforgettable - "Haavina Dwesha, Hanneradu Varusha", "Ramaswamy, Krishnaswamy, Kelasavannu madonave", "Tuthu anna thinnoke, bogase neeru kudiyoke, tundu batte saaku nanna maana muchoke".

He was married to Bharathi and has 2 daughters. He was always cited as a gentleman, never entering politics nor opening commenting or supporting any parties. He led a quite life and offlate spent time in spirituality and meditation. And yesterday, this star breathed his last.

Here is a small tribute to this great actor:

Inhuman side of Techies

2009-12-30T01:06:00.000-08:00

We are called "knowledge workers". We are supposed to use our brain, intelligence and knowledge to do creating things. Today, There is no field in computer industry where Indian Software Professionals cannot be found.

And yet, as there are 2 sides to every coin, few Indian Software Professionals have an ugly side.

With both husband and wife working in the IT Industry - they tend to bring small girls to help them support with their house work - cooking, cleaning and tending to their small kids. However, they forget that these young girls are kids themselves - mostly orphans or from very poor families. And when these young girls/boys do not do as told, they are beat mercilessly and meted very inhuman treatment - branding them with hot iron rods, hitting them on their head with wooden sticks, pouring hot oil on them, slapping them, starving them... so on and so forth.

Today morning, I read yet another article that talked about techies violence towards domestic helps.

Why do these people behave like this? Don't they stop on second to think how they would feel if someone did the same to their kids?

Why do we forget they are also humans like us?

Their Special Girl

2009-12-28T03:18:00.000-08:00

She loves to meet new people, and get to know new faces. She is so curious about you - asks you ample questions in miniscule details - won't leave you until you tell her the names of your school teachers, your kids, spouse, mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother, father... pets... list goes on.

Yet, what is special in her is that if you bump into her 1 or 2 years later, she will repeat all your details purely out of her memory.

She loves reading. She knows exactly which rack in Sapna Book shop has what kind of books, which nook and what corner of the shop she will find what she wants - she does not want anybody's help to locate this. She scrutinises each book she purchases reads the covers back and forth and takes her own sweet time to purchase 1 single book.

Yet, each book she picks up are rare treasures, which, even you will not "see" when you go to shops to buy them for your kids.

She loves watching mythical movies, tales of kings and queens, dreams of being re-born as a princess in a BIG palace

Yet, she is does not realize that she is already a princess in the eyes of her parents.

Yes, she is special - an autistic child born to her parents....

"Udhas" Ghazals

2009-12-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

A magical voice churning out soulful melodies :)

Pankaj Udhas (born 17 May 1951) is a ghazal singer from India. He is credited, along with other musicians like Jagjit Singh and Talat Aziz, with bringing the style to the realm of popular music. Udhas rose to fame for singing in the film Naam (1986 film), in which his song Chitthi Aayee Hai became an instant hit. Following that, he has also performed as a playback singer for numerous films. He has recorded many albums since then and tours the world as an accomplished Ghazal singer. In 2006, Pankaj Udhas was awarded the Padmashree. (Information Courtesy: Wikipedia)

Two of my all time favorites ghazals are:
1) Waqt se waqt ki kya shikayat karen Waqt hi na raha waqt ki baat hai
Usne Dekha Hamen usne jaana hamen Usne thukra diya waqt ki baat hai

2) Hui mehengi bahut hai sharaab ke Thodi Thodi piya karo
Piyo lekin rakho hisaab ke Thodi Thodi piya karo

What do you do when...

2009-12-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

Your 2 years old daughter asks for a glass of water. You diligently give her that. Suddenly you hear loud noises - two of your neighbours are fighting cats and dogs. As usual, you are curious and want to peep from the window to catch a glimpse of their fight. You turn away wee bit to open the window. Suddenly your son starts shouting "amma amma". You turn in time to see your darling daughter, apple of your eye, pouring the entire glass of water on the mattress.

Your son is sleeping quitely in his place. He is drowsy. Your little daughter goes close to him calling him "anna anna" (brother brother). You assume she is going there to pet him, give him a hug so he can doze off.. instead she grabs handful of his hair and pulls hard. It hurts him so much that he starts crying...

All this in half an hour's time...

You spank her hard and then you see tears as big as pearls dropping down from those lovely eyes... you feel very sad for hitting her... you want to go near her to pet her... she runs away from you and says "I want chandramma (her baby sitter) ..."

Her way of rubbing salt over my wounds...

What do YOU do in such situations?

Invite to House Warming Ceremony

2009-10-05T02:41:00.000-07:00

After lot of deliberation and contemplation, I finally decided to take the plunge.... like so many bretherns here.... and built this new home.
Here is my new abode. I am skeptical and scared to move completely. At my present location, I felt completely "at home". I was living a simple and contented life. But moving to the new place is already making me feel like a jelly .... but what choice did I have? I fell prey for the mindboggling options available .... So, please do visit my new home at your leisure and bless it with your comments (not presents, this time phew...) :D

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

2009-10-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

A colleague shared this hilarious rendition of the famous rhyme "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". I found it so hilarious and charming, thought of posting it here for everyone's benefit :P

I am back

2009-09-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

It feels tremendously good to be back after a gruelling 1 month. Lot of things have changed and personally, I feel, I have changed. Life suddenly seems peaceful. I feel there are so many things for me to look forward to. Just like this flower slowly unfurling its petals to break into its beauty... Have I become poetic? Time will tell......But me certainly feeling tremendously energized :P

End is Peaceful

2009-09-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

Appa passed away at 5.15 a.m. monday morning in his sleep. End was very peaceful.

Hyderabad Blues - 2

2009-08-24T03:03:00.000-07:00

We used to frequent the Koti Market. I used to like it for its humdrum and colorful stone bangles and lot of wares that the vendors used to sell. One saturday evening, my mother, sister, cousin and I visited koti. I asked my mother to buy me something (at present, i do not quite remember what I asked her for). She categorically refused.

I was so angry that I unclutched my hand from her grasp and wandered off. The thought in my head was "Let me get lost and let her search for me. That should teach her a lesson for not buying that for me". And so thinking, I truly wandered off.

Half hour later, I could not spot my mom, sis or cousin. Panic started gripping me. I started crying. This burly 6 ft tall guy saw me and asked what happened. I told him that I was lost. He asked me for my whereabouts. I told him and he consoled saying he was off in the same direction and would drop me to my house. I did not want to trust this guy as he looked very mean. But I did not have a choice but to go with him as I had no money with me and no brains, anyways.

That man said "please wait here, I want to buy something and then we can be on our way. I will drop you home". I was truly scared by this time and was hoping to spot my family members. While he was buying something, my eyes desperately started searching for my family. Luckily, i saw my mom searching for me very frantically. I immediately shouted for her and ran to her.

The man came following me and asked "Are you sure this is your mom?". I said "yes and explained to my mother that this guy had offerred to drop me home". She mumbled her thanks and took me firmly by my hand and took me aside. She cried a lot that day - a mixture of anger, anguish and relief.

She went on to explain "V, do you really know whether that man would have dropped you home? What would have happened if he had sold you off to some lady who runs a brothel or made you beg alms? How sure are you that any man you meet and offers help is a good one? Your today's behaviour is just not acceptable. I hope you have learnt a lesson and will not repeat it".

I was truly humbled that day. At that instance, I realized what I a mess I had got myself into... and true to my promise, I never repeated it again.

Even today, I keep wondering what would have happened if I had not spotted my mother that day. Would that man have dropped me home? Or what would have become of me? Any news where they report missing girls or girls in brothel, girls begging alms, working as house maids... brings this incident to my mind and I feel goosebumps all over my body....

Me ghajini?

2009-08-24T02:44:00.000-07:00

Here are few instances in the recent past when I had turned into Ghajini. May be I am suffering from Dual Personality Syndrome :p

1. I go into the kitchen, stand near the refridgerator and start wondering how I came here and for what

2. My son reminds me "Amma, you had promised to prepare paneer subji today". I am like "Did I? Was I daft to promise him something like this on a week day?" Why am I not remembering when I gave him this promise?

3. Husband "V, can you please give me my Form 16 from whereever you have kept it?". Me "You kept it in your file this time and I dont know where it is." Husband "I remember very well I gave it to you"... I start scratching my head "I do not remember where I kept it... Am I so forgetful?" (although later it turns out that sir had himself kept it in a so called safe place and forgot)

4. FIL says "V, while you are coming down, can you please bring me 1 soap and 1 oil can from the storage cupboard". I say very obediently "Yes, Appa, I will get it" and next 5 times I walk up and down, I don't remember to bring this

5. Team member during a 1-on-1 meeting "V, you had asked me to schedule this meeting"... I am flabbergasted "Me? I did? Do you know why? did I give any agenda item?"

6. One day, after coming home, I changed into my home wear. Next day morning, I could NOT remember for nuts where i kept my spectacles.... I searched and searched and searched...finally when I opend my handback to remove my office tag, found the spectacles in there.... Second time, I went and bought a new pair assuming that I had lost the first pair. After 1 whole year, I found them in the top shelf of my cupboard.

7. I had back to back meetings at office. I carry my cell phone in my hand along with my laptop and water bottle..... its quite a struggle. Last week, I could not find my cell phone in my hand while I very well remembered carrying it with me. I went into each meeting room to search for it and even went to the rest room to see if I had left it there... no luck... exhausted from all the running around, i came to my desk feeling really sad for having lost this one (a birthday gift from my hubby)... opened my handbag to keep my office tag.... and Lo behold.. there is my cell phone sitting safely... How did it get there?

8. Friday, I wanted a cup of tea very badly... Searched for my mug.. could not find it there... gave up hope of finding the same and did not have coffee... end of day, went to the rest room just before leaving office... found my mug sitting in the rest room mirror cabinet... must have left it there during one of my previous visits... how come I don't remember when?

And yet, I tell my husband "You are so forgetful that one day you will see me walking beside you and suddenly you will turn and ask me "Do we know each other?" phew....

Photography in the eye of the beholder

2009-08-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

Offlate, my hubby seems to have taken a liking for photography. Any week end, you will see him holding a camera chugging inside the house looking for "inspirations" to shoot. I chose to ignore for several weeks.

Then one day, he came running and said "V, I have posted few of my photographs on the net. Why don't you take a look at them here and give me your feedback"

I did visit the URL quite reluctantly. But I was quite impressed with what I saw. So, just thought I should share it with you all...

Here are two samples:

Designer Line :P

2009-08-19T22:10:00.002-07:00

Seen outside a designer boutique near Commercial street:

"Tamanna is getting dressed and will open the door soon" :)

Drew a big smile on my face

Designer Line :P

2009-08-19T22:10:00.001-07:00

Seen outside a designer boutique near Commercial street:
"Tamanna is getting dressed and will open the door soon" :)

Drew a big smile on my face

Hyderabad Blues - Part 1

2009-08-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

Swaram must be wondering how am I qualified to talk about her adopted city :P

But yes, I have lived there 2 years of my life - time sufficient enough to build memories. I am going to share some of them here...

Whenever I hear Hyderabad, top things that come into my mind are Kamat hotel opposite to Birla Mandir, Khairatabad, Lakdi Ka Pul, Mother Teresa High School and St. Mary's School. My experiences map into only these places.

Let me start by telling you all that I was just 9 years old when my parents were transferred to Hyderabad. We were put in Mother Teresa High School. I do not really have many memories of my classmates or teachers from here. However 2 incidents are very raw in my head:

1. One of my classmates was Marium. She had very curly long hair. That particular day, she had not combed her hair well and it was all streaming over her face. I asked her casually - "why have you not combed your hair?" and in response (broken english), she responded "I had head bath today only ya". I was quick to catch that and called rest of the gang and announced "hey you know what... Marium had head bath today only after all these years...".

At that point, it was fun. I never realized the amount of hurt I would have caused to her by making fun of her english. Marium, in case you get to see this post, I am terribly sorry. It was certainly not my intention to hurt you ... I just wanted to bring out the pun in your statement.

2. Sankranthi is one big and colorful festival in Hyderabad. What makes it so is the kite flying tradition that is associated with this festival. Since we were staying on the 2nd floor of a house, my sister and I were enthusiastic to fly a kite - a first in our life. so, off we went to buy a kite from lakdi ka pul market, which was walking distance from our house.

On the way back, a bunch of small (rowdy) boys snatched the kite from my hand. I was dumb stuck on how to react. Although I considered myself very bold (misconception, later I realized), I failed to react boldly at that instance. I saw a familiar face bicycling near by. It turned out to be Shabbir, my classmate. He asked me what happened and I told him about the incident. Immediately, off he went on his bicycle, fought with the guys and got my kite back. I was so happy and Shabbir was the knight in the shining armor for me. Shabbir, thank you very much for getting our kite back. I hope you will read this.

Sadly, end of that year, my father decided to change our school to St. Mary's and I never kept in touch with my Mother Teresa Gang. However, these 2 memories are very fresh in my mind as if they happened yesterday :D

Officially CA

2009-08-13T01:22:00.001-07:00

K, you have cleared one of the toughest exams - CA exams today. I want you to know how proud I am to have you as my brother. Hearty Congratulations and way to go...
So much for becoming a

Reality Bites

2009-08-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, I called up Jo, who is currently in UK. It had been a while since we had talked and there was so much I wanted to share with her. Especially on the Gossip Front ;)

I had several guests at home. Despite this, I dialled her number and started talking to her. I told her how much I miss her companionship in the office and checked with her how she was faring in the new place.

After all initial pleasantaries, I started with a routine "Yen Gotha..." (you know what). Just then I realized that I was about to tell her about our office's "Gossip of the year". With this, the other realization that all my relatives had stopped talking and were listening to my conversation hit me hard. It was as if they knew instintively that I was talking something secretive.

Immediately i told Jo "hey, guess we have some company. So, hang on there... I will get into the room and we can continue talking". I said this and walked into the bed room. Settled on my bed, sitting cross legged. I continued where I had left.

As I was talking to her I sensed that to me, Jo was very much in the room and sitting right in front of me - eyes wide, listening to every word I was uttering. She was staring at my face in rapt attention, which pleased me a lot.

Just then, few of my relatives came in and asked me if they could sit on the bed. Without even waiting for my reaction, they made themselves comfortable on my bed. I was furious and extremely annoyed that this nosey bunch was not letting me talk to Jo. I opened my mouth to say something nasty... that was when I heard a weird sound "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ".

I turned from my pillow to realize that it was my cell phone alarm, which was giving me the wake up call. And the above mentioned episode was actually a dream :D

I instantly felt a tinge of sadness at having lost that proximity with Jo. This song came to my mind at that very moment summarizing my feelings perfectly:

Jeevan Ke Safar Main Raahi
Milte hain bichad jaane ko
Aur De jaate hain yaaden
Tanhaai main tadpane ko!!!

Eating Joints - I recommend

2009-08-11T04:19:00.000-07:00

This is my tribute to all foodies in Bangalore. List of cost effective food joints I recommend:
1. SLV (right in front of BMS College of Enginneering) - Yum Idly and chutney and coffee
2. Ibrahim Sahib Street (behind commercial street) - Awesome Ghee Masala Dosa and Chinese Noodles
3. Gullus Chat (Serpentine Road, behind sheshadripuram College) - Exceptional Chaats
4. Mast Kalander (MS Ramaiah Hospital Main Road and near Koramangala Indoor stadium) - North Indian Thalis and Paranthas
5. Lalithas Paratha - Commercial street - mouthwatering paranthas
6. CTR - 7th cross malleshwaram (diagonally opp malleswaram club) - benne masala dosa
7. Brahmin's cafe bar (Chamarajpet) - jasmine idlies, butter and lip smacking chutney + coffee
8. Fresh Salads (vyalikaval) - fresh and variety of salads

The Big Foodie

2009-08-11T04:14:00.000-07:00

Talk about Ani and a whole world of Food and restaurants open up. Ani was (I hope still is) a very big foodie. It was through him that we came to know many of the otherwise little known eating-joints in Bangalore.

He introduced us to the numerous "messes" run by individuals in and around NR Colony, Basavanagudi - simple yet delicious home cooked food - they could make simple yellow dal taste yummy yum.

Midnight Food Gaadis at KR Puram - My God... I did not know they existed!!! Dosas, Chinese Noodles were top favorites...

And who can forget VV Puram Food Street? On my first visit, I was like a girl given a room full of toys.

Which shop to visit first and what dosa to have and in what combination? Who will have what different item so I could get to taste each piece.

"Hey you take this and I will take that.. so we can share...okay?" - the discussions, negotiations were endless... ;)

Come to think of it... in the name of joint studies.. all we did in those days, was joint hogging :P

Thanks to all the cramming and walking, I seldom gained pounds.. else, by now, I would have to walk with the help of an earth mover :P

Suspended for Ragging

2009-08-10T01:43:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was reading a news article about 12 college students being suspended for having invited juniors to one of their houses for a get-together. A case of ragging had been filed against them although all were denying the charges.

Reading this news item time travelled my mind, in a roller coaster ride, back to 1997. I was in my 2nd Year MCA when one fine morning, on the notice board there was a note from the administrative committee "MCA 2nd year students suspended from classes for 2 weeks on account of ragging charges".

We (class of 60) read, re-read this message to our utter anger, disbelief. There was chaos and mayhem everywhere with half of us shouting for justice and talking out how unjust this decision was. For, we truly did not know what had happened and why we were being suspended.

What happened in the next 2 weeks changed our destiny and relationship. Ani became the unelected leader (without opposition, though) and voice of the entire class. He took charge of the situation, met up with seniors to decide future course. He even made sure entire class was united in this effort.

And after series of discussions with the management committee and seniors and students who stayed in the college hostel, the whole story was out. Apparently couple of guys who stayed in the hostel were involved in the ragging incident, which had occured in the hostel premises. However, despite several tries, the college mgmt failed to identify these individuals. Hence, they had decided to debar the entire class... Phew !!!

Ani, thanks to your leadership, this story was found and the suspension was revoked within 1 week. We all became good friends... And this did change V's course of life .... 3-4 years down the lane, she married Ani :D

All in all, this incident did have a Happy Ending :D

Music and Me

2009-08-07T03:44:00.000-07:00

People love to ask embarassing questions whenever possible and that too in public. And one of my FIL's friend's wife belongs to this category.

We met the old folks this week end. For the nth time, Va aunty asks me "You also have learnt sangeeta (music), right?". (Me and singing.... If I were Tansen, it would rain frogs ... uh... !!!)

I immediately said "Aunty, I do not know Sa of Sangeeta".

She was looking at me in disbelief and yet continued "You must be joking".

I said in a voice that reflected my feelings (gritting my teeth, angry and flustered) "No, I am not joking. I really do not know Sa of Sangeeta".

Indu Aunty must have sensed my discomfort. Immediately she said to Va Aunty "Avalu chennagi oodhi olle kelasadalli iddalle.. Namma tarah odade manenalli koothilla bidri.. Tumba intelligent avalu" (Roughly translates to "She has studied well and is a working woman. Not a house wife like us. She is very intelligent")

I looked at Indu aunty with tremendous gratitude for saving me from Va Aunty... Phew...

Truly, I do never know how to handle situations like this... Any Tips?

Rain and Songs

2009-08-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

I have always hated getting drenched in rain. I loath the sensation of wet clothes clinging to my body not to mention the cold, cough and fever bouts common during this season.

But as I grew up, I realized rains had a positive dimension to them.

I could sit on the window ledge and watch the rain fall, I could make paper boats and set them sail in the running water, I could have hot pipping chai with onion pakodas... with a mushy-mushy nicholas sparks to read. I could afford to be lazy doing no work all day and blame it on rains. Not to mention experiencing the odd pull at my heart while listening to good old hindi songs. And this would be the icing on the cake.

I am a BIG fan of old hindi songs, especially songs that start with barsat, saawan, barish, rim jhim.... top of the list are:

Rim Jhim gire saawan, sulag sulag jaaye man, bheege aaj iss mausam main, lagi kaisi yeh agan... Who can really answer that?
Or
Rim Jhim ke geet sawan gaaye, haaye, bheegi bheegi raaton main... ke hoton pe baat dil ki aaye, haaye, bheegi bheegi raaton main
Or
Barsaat main, (tak dhina dhin), Barsaat main, hum se mile tum sajan tum se mile hum... Barsaat main (tak dhina dhin)

The lyrics of these songs are so delicately interwoven that the listener can actually see them blend into the rain. So silky and anonymous are these lyrics - one can never make out whether the song is being sung by humans or by Gods... Not to undermine the meaning associated with each word ... So intricate and unimaginable... It always exports me to a different realm all together... Such is my involvement in these songs...

Now, I have stopped cribbing about rains. I start digging into my songs collection and begin to clear the dust off them - in parallel, I also clear the cobwebs from my mind ...

Books I recommend

2009-08-04T01:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of books I recommend book lovers to read. I have truly enjoyed reading each one of them and learnt several valuable lessons.

1. The monk who sold his ferrari - Robin Sharma
2. Death by meetings - a leadership fable - Patrick Lencioni
3. The Palace of Illusions - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (the author of Mistress of Spices)
4. The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks (I adore this book and gift it to whoever is very close to me)
5. Notes to Myself - Huge Prather
6. Love Story - Eric Segal

A to Z

2009-08-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

ABCDEFG HIJKLMNOP LMNOPQRST UVWXYZ
XYZ sugar on the bread, If you don't like it better go to bed
Next day Morning, visit this blog
I will teach you ABC :)

1. A – Available/Single?
Neither. I am MMOTK (Married and Mother of Two Kids)

2. B – Best friend?
Had 1 until she betrayed me. All I am left is a deep scar that refuses to heal.

3. C – Cake or Pie?
Cake ofcourse - Chocolate flavor anytime :P
Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice cream is my fav combo

4. D – Drink of choice?
Water

5. E – Essential item you use every day?
My Brain - Not that there is anything inside. But I feel lost without it

6. F – Favourite colour?
Satrangi

7. G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?
Me no comprehendo

8. H – Hometown?
Nammooru Bengluru... Nimmuru Yavooru?

9. I – Indulgence?
Italian Food - Ravioli - with cheese and spinach filling --- slurpy slurpy yum yum

10. J – January or February?
February - My birthday Month

11. K – Kids & their names?
Aakash and Aditi

12. L – Life is incomplete without?
You unraveling her mysteries and learning a lesson or 2 in the process

13. M – Marriage date?
25 Feb

14. N – Number of siblings?
1- Younger Brother; 1- Younger Sister

15. O – Oranges or Apples?
Oranges - anytime - surprisingly, I hate sour curd, tamarind, sour mangoes.... but i love oranges.. ... I am such a bundle of contradictions

16. P – Phobias/Fears?
Staying all alone at home - especially night....Scared of G H O S T S :)

17. Q – Quote for today?
Gravity is farce - Earth SUCKS :P

18. R – Reason to smile?
Blogs - makes me happy and connected with so many other girls out there. Opens up a whole new world

19. S – Season?
Summer - love the floral fragrance in the air... especially Jasmines...

20. T – Tag three People?
Lostworld said "Let there be a tag" and so there is this tag.
I am a mere mortal :D

21. U – Unknown fact about me?
I am afraid of failure

22. V – Vegetable you don't like?
Ladies Finger, Knol Knol

23. W – Worst habit?
Thinking

24. X – X-rays you've had?
Several to name - chest, tooth (during extraction), knee, lower back

25. Y – Your favourite food
Groundnut Chikkis, Lonavala Almond Chikkis

26. Z – Zodiac sign?
Acquarius 100%

To Care or Not, is the question?

2009-08-03T01:10:00.000-07:00

I have 15 odd earthern pots in which I have planted various plants - flowers as well as vegetables. One of the pots has karela (Bitter Gourd) plant, which has turned yellow towards the root. One look at it and anyone will easily conclude that its "about to die".

Three days ago, when I was watering the plants, my hubby came over and said casually "Hey, I think you should stop watering the karela plant. It is anyway about to die". He made this comment and walked inside without waiting for my response.

While I shook my head and continued with my activity (Ofcourse, I watered the Karela Plant), I could easily draw a parallel between this plant and my FIL. I wanted to ask my husband "Should we stop giving food and water to your father? Anyway we know he is going to die".

And ofcourse, I could not bring myself to ask him this question till today. But his statement keeps haunting me each time I water the plants. I am unable to meet Karela in the eyes.

109 BRATs

2009-08-03T00:46:00.000-07:00

This brother and sister jodi is a dangerous combo - sister imitates everything the brother does... Right from "Appa, go out", "Shut up", to "Inu Pelima (Vinu Perima), vaanaa (Venda)" :P

This saturday, we had loads of fun seeing my son teach Taekwondo to his sister. It was so hilarious to see her imitiating each and every step with a "Khya Khya Khya" sound that one is supposed to make with every Taekwondo move :D

Girls in my circle

2009-07-30T02:50:00.001-07:00

Here is a cute forward, which i wanted to share with everyone :P

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in manyfriends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom..
Another will sit beside you in the bleachersas you delight in your children and their activities Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'Another , 'Let's fight together,' Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet youwith their gym shoes on and hair pulledback,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,

Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother, On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters, And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years, AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your lifeTo make a difference.
Thanks for being in my circle.
If you delete this message, you will gain 10 kgs - I couldn't chance it... I can almost feel myself losing weight . . .. by forwarding this to you!

Escapade

2009-07-28T02:02:00.000-07:00

I asked her to stand outside while I made a pitstop to a nearby grocery shop to buy a pack of biscuits. I was on my way home from office and was very hungry. I told her I would come back in a jiffy. And, off I went.

Inside the shop (mini super market), I purchased not 1 but several pack of biscuits, and so many other things. Let me not go through my purchases... all in all, by the time I came out after paying the bill, she was not there... where i had left her.

I was shocked. I did not know what to do, or where to look for her. I called my husband to tell him about this incident. He was equally stunned. He suggested I talk to the traffic cop.
As I proceeded towards the next traffic signal, where i knew I could find a cop, I saw her... someone had dragged her into their vehicle and were taking her by force with them. I was furious. How can they do this to a hapless person?

I ran behind that vehicle like a person possessed. But unfortunately, just at that instant, the traffic turned green and that vehicle sped off. I ran to the stationary cop and said "Look, they are dragging the hapless person in their vehicle... do you know where they are headed to?"
The cop answered, "Looks like they are headed towards ulsoor...why don't you take an auto and follow them?". He laughed at my predicament, which made me even more angry.

I flagged an auto, hopped in and directed the hapless driver to follow the vehicle. The driver was very confused to see a girl flagging him down with such furore. He did not have a choice but to comply.

Luckily as per the cop's direction, that vehicle was indeed going towards Ulsoor. I intercepted them near Ulsoor. I talked to her tormentors and begged them to release her. Seeing the pain in my voice, they relented. "Not without paying a price", they said. I agreed to pay any price to get her away from their clutches. We bargained and struck a price. I paid them. After they went away, I got her home.

I was proud of her and myself for bearing this agony stoically.

As I parked her in our compound, I told her how brave she was to go through such an episode today. I promised her I would never park her recklessly on the road that would lead the traffic cops to tow her away again.

As she settled down after such a stressful day, she seemed to understand and forgive me!!!

Birthdays and Childhood

2009-07-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my son's birthday. And he was soooo happy. The phone just won't stop ringing from people wanting to wish him.. from grandparents to his friends and cousins.

He wore color dress to his school carrying chocolates to be distributed to all his classmates and not to forget his teachers...

He was so happy he has grown a year older. (I keep telling him that he will grow big only if he goes to school, else he will remain the small 6 years old guy. And this is something he truly believes in :P)

When I look into myself, I realize I have lost the enthusiasm to celebrate birthdays. I used to be a fun loving girl and my birthdays used to be "BIG" parties. I had groups of friends whom I had to definitely meet that day. College group (classmates, seniors, girls group), school group, old friends, neighbourhood friends, cousins so on and so forth. After treating each of the groups from breakfast to dinner, I would reach home only by 10 p.m. with all my gifts dumped into a big gunny bag.

And look at where I am today. I see my birthday as yet another day. No passion anymore to celebrate or buy gifts... where did I lose the child in me?

I am so clueless..never realized when it happened....

Broken Resolution

2009-07-24T01:18:00.000-07:00

Few days back, I had resolved to take a long break...
But I am finding it so difficult to keep this resolution... So difficult that I decided to break it :P

Am I writing too many blogs?

2009-07-21T01:25:00.000-07:00

My thoughts have become muddled :(
I will take a long break !!!

Black is beautiful?

2009-07-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

"Black is not a color", said Edouard Manet.

Black has always been a synonym to impurity, darkness, bad luck and what not.

1. In south India, we never gift black dress materials or sarees for festivals or weddings.

2. Black Widow Spider is quoted often when referring to a "bad" wife because this spider gobbles up its husband after laying eggs.

On the contrary:
1. During Gowri Festival, the goddess' is offered with "Gowri Butti" or Gowri's ensembles, that contains 2 small black bangles.
2. Black kajal is applied to all kids to ward off evil.
3. We wear black clothes to look glamorous and beautiful - black goes with all colors and hence you can really mix and match well. So, black is a chosen color for all fashion designers.
4. In all romantic novels, it is the TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome) guy that gets to marry the herione eventually
5. The movie "Black" carved a niche for itself in the history of Bollywood.
6. Our hair, which is called the crowning glory, is indeed black in color and this helps accentuate our beauty.

So, why then are we obsessed with White and Fair? Or is this as hypocritical as India and Article 377? Marcus Aurelius has said it right when he quoted "The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts"

My daughter is beautiful

2009-07-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my FIL made a comment "Your daughter is like a doll. She is so loveable and cuddalable. But she is not beautiful. She looks like Moddu and Muddu (dumb female)"

Well, I was certainly not happy to hear this. I totally believe in the kannada adage "Hethavarige Heggana Muddu" roughly translates to "You will love the child you give birth to, even if it happens to be a RAT"

So, dear Aditi, no matter what Thatha tells you, I love you with all my heart. I want you to know that my days have brightened after you came into my life. There have been nights when I have been awake but content at just staring at your lovely face... there are days when I shed tears just thinking about the day when you will get married, leave us and go.

And trust me...your appa goes through the same emotions ...

Incident at the Beauty Parlor

2009-07-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

I go to the beauty parlor once a fortnight, mostly to get my eye brows trimmed. Very rarely for pedicure or any beauty treatments. This is mostly because time is luxury for me and I get only week ends to get my eye brows trimmed. And most week ends, we have one or the other occasion to attend or visits by relatives.
So, amidst all this, creating those 10 minutes for an eye brow trim is truly luxury to me.

The parlor that I regularize is run by 3 girls. I have always seen them with awe. They work very hard and I have been proud of the fact that they are standing on their feet and are independent.

So, a fortnight back when I went there (at 6 p.m.) for my regular eye brow trim, I was shocked to hear one of them talk to me rudely "Its closing time now. We cannot do your eyebrows."

Although taken aback, I told them firmly "Look, I have been trying to come here since 2 p.m. However, today being a Sunday, I have been having lot of visitors at home, back to back. So, this is the time I could really get and hence you have to do it".

Grudgingly she accepted and trimmed my eye brows. On my way back, I realized that this parlor did not have any board that mentioned the work timings. Mentally making a note of this to give them a feedback next fortnight, i went home.

Yesterday, I again went there. This time at 4 p.m. just so they don't get angry with me for landing there at closing time. Again, I was in for a rude shock.

The instant I sat down on the chair, one of the 3 girls asked me what I wanted. I said "Eye brows". To this, she said very rudely "We will not do it today. There are people waiting for facial and pedicure and manicure. You come tomorrow".

I told her humbly "I need to go to work tomorrow". She did not respond. Just looked the other way.

And I was angry - i simply walked out and told myself "Today, you guys have lost a customer".

I truly do not know what I have done to arouse such a reaction from them. Or was it the fact that their investment of 10 minutes would reap only Rs. 15 income while the same time invested on a facial would bring them Rs. 500?

I am too pained at this moment to conclude.

Kids and Fever

2009-07-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today, I have decided to work from home. Simply because my son is down with Viral Fever and he has had temperature of 103.6 since last 2 days. I am very concerned about his health.

1 hour at home, I realize may be I made a mistake... may be i dreamt that he was down with fever... He has been playing since 7 a.m. the time he woke up today. He wrote something, he painted few drawings, and now trying to "create" his own tune on his casio keyboard...

May be I am the one who is sick and not him :P

Not to forget... his sister is vying with him to do exactly same thing that he does... she wants to paint along with him and create music on his keyboard... often she forgets the fact that she is just 1.8 years old and truly does not even know how to hold a pen properly :D

Appa, where can I reach you?

2009-07-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Appa,
As your time nears, I have come to realize what you mean to me. Today, I want to tell you - you mean the world to me.

You have always been interested every day to find out how my day has gone by. You have fidgeted and frowned each time I have fallen sick, goading me to go to the doctor ... you even resorted to threatening me to see a doctor when I would not listen to you. I know you wished well for me each time you said that...And there have been several instances when I have not listened to you at all - and have been as obnoxious as a weed.

When there are festivals, you always are in the fore front to celebrate them. Never made me feel the absence of my mother-in-law. You took the kitchen by storm to cook the most sumptous puliogarai or kesari bath... how can we ever forget the all famous semiya payasam? "Payasa madidre munnu maama taraha madabeku" goes the adage in our family circles :P

How can I forget Srikrishna janmashtami celebrations? Pulling down the table, you sit right in the middle of the living room decorating the "santum sanctorum" to keep the diety with mango leaves, fruits and all delicious things I would prepare? How many times have you offered to buy them from the shop ready-made when you saw me taking the strain to cook all those things at home? Times when you have been so proud of your bahu for understanding your traditions and preparing all the delicacies at home...

Today I proudly tell my family - I learnt cooking from appa. All the praises and accolades from relatives over my cooking testify that I have been a good student.

Being a foodie, you have always loved good home-cooked food. Perhaps I have always known this deep in my heart. Which is why each time they serve kajjaya, semiya payasam or puliogarai at office, I have called you to tell you about it. And you have always told me "Why dont you get some home?". Sadly, each time, I have responded "I cannot get it home, appa. It is part of lunch at Office".

Now I realize, I could have at least tried to get some of it home - if I had paid a price, which I would not have minded. May be I would have succeeded in fullfilling your wishes...
Today, as I called you home once more to tell you about the sumptuous puliogarai that was served as part of the special meal, my eyes were moist... Very soon, I truly would not know where to call you and how to reach you.....

Appa, do you really have to leave us and go?

Toastmasters Project # 1: Ice Breaker

2009-07-17T00:20:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Fellow Toastmaster and guests, Good Evening

I am the eldest daughter of Re and Vij Pai. I was born on Valentine’s Day to a happy mother and a disappointed father. My father wanted a son.

My sister was born a year later increasing my father’s disappointment. After a gap of 7 years, my father’s prayers were answered. My brother was born.

Since both my parents were bank employees, my upbringing happened at my maternal grand parents’ house. My grandfather was a freedom fighter. Although he never went to school, he could fix any mechanical device all by himself.

My grandmother was a homemaker. She was a religious lady.

My first beautiful memories of childhood start from here.

As I close my eyes, I see myself running in the small garden outside their house plucking leaves and flowers.

My grandfather hauling me up on the baby seat of his bicycle and drop me to my nursery school. I can still smell the smell of my lunch box packed with hot Rice with Milk. I can still see my BIG class room with its semi-circle shaped wooden mats.

I am among the lucky few who got to study in 8 different schools in a span of 8 years.

After schooling, I did my bachelor degree majoring in computer science from SJR College.

In between school and college, my father had resigned from bank services to open his own restaurant.

This being close to my college proved disastrous. As I entered, boys would welcome me with comments on how little chutney was being served or that the prices were high. Some even suggested that I take them for a free lunch one of the days. How embarrassed I would feel?

Being born on Valentine’s Day, I grew up with the thought that I should marry only for love. I really do not recollect when this thought came to sit firmly in my head – but it did. During my graduation, I was more in love with the thought of falling in love than love itself.

So, when one of my classmates proposed, I was over the moon. I was so happy that I even took to writing poetry and singing those old hindi romantic songs :P

Well, this definitely had an impact on my Pre University Board results. I barely managed to pass with 60%. My dream of studying medicine ended. So did my romance.

I learnt an important lesson – never mix your personal life with your professional career. I decided not to repeat this mistake ever again.

When I was wondering on next steps, a cousin suggested MCA. I took his suggestion and passed out of MCA with distinction.

My first job was with Iflex Solutions.

Now that I was professionally settled, my parents wanted me to marry. I was in a fix. How could I marry someone who I did not know anything about?

One day as I was walking, someone called out to me. I turned to see Sr, my college-mate waving at me. We had not been in touch over the last 3-4 years and to meet after a long time was really good.

Little did I realize that fate had something in store for me? Several months later, over coffee I shared my concerns about marriage with him. He suggested “Why would not anyone marry you? All you have to do is find a person you like and ask him to marry you.” My hasty reaction was “It is easy for you to say. Will YOU marry me?” He laughed and said “YES, ofcourse”. I was shocked. It took sometime for this to sink in. I accepted humbly. May be this was a mistake because even today, he accuses me of tricking him into marrying me :P

Today we are proud parents of 2 naughty but sweet children – Akash and Aditi. Akash is 5 years and Aditi is 8 months old. All my free time gets spent in their company leaving me with no time to pursue my hobbies of Reading, Stained Glass or embroidery.

There were turning points in my life where I had to take decisions. Today, when I look back, may be:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Future of Dating

2009-07-14T02:21:00.001-07:00

Click these pictures to enlarge them ...

Swaram Tagged me :P

2009-07-13T00:38:00.000-07:00

Swaram had left a tag for me on one of her blogs - post the picture you love the most and explain why you love it the most.
Luckily it was an easy one. This one is my all time favorite.

Its my secret wish that some day, I will be standing / sitting on this pier waiting for that someone who will love me as deeply as the guy in Nicholas Sparks novel "The Message in a Bottle" :P

This can, ofcourse, happen only in my next birth as I am already married and have no intention of waiting for that "someone" by any pier... In One birth, One Marriage is vastly sufficient :D

But seriously speaking, this picture depicts the loneliness in my heart perfectly !!!

FIL's Undying Spirit

2009-07-13T00:35:00.000-07:00

Liver Cancer has been imbibing my Father-in-law's energy and making him tired all the time. A jovial person who would walk down to neighbour's house for a casual brunch-time coffe-chat, can now be seen sleeping with no energy to get up and go down the stairs.

Oncologist did warn us about this and urged us to push him to walk and exercise his body. And this has been my hubby's and my constant effort. Each day, we spent lot of time and effort to talk to him, push and goad him to get up and walk, exercise.

Habitually, he dozes off immediately after breakfast, which according to my husband is not a good habit. This saturday was no different. He had had his breakfast and was sitting on the sofa waiting for sleep goddess to sing her lullaby.

My husband and I were sitting next to him. My hubby started "appa, what is this, you are dozing off again. Why can't you be a bit active and get yourself some exercise? You are ruining what is left of your health".

Immediately my FIL looked at me and said "In the film, Manasa Sarovara, there is a song "Neene saakida gini..ninna muddina gini...
haddagi kukkitallo, ninna haddagi kukkitallo...
Vidya, this guy is like the parrot in this song which is now pecking me like an eagle ......"

All I could do was hold my stomach and roll in laughter... while my hubby was seen fuming... :D

Despite all his pain, the spirit with which he makes others laugh is definitely commendable!!!

Toastmasters Club

2009-07-08T23:38:00.001-07:00

I am terrified of public speaking. In a formal gathering of even 5 people, I cannot talk. My heart thumps faster, my hands and feet go numb, I start shaking and shivering. Almost all times, I have wished I were dead.

Now, my role in the organization demands that I walk up to the stage and talk in front of at least 250-300 people at any given time. I have been shirking all opportunities of public speaking. However, when I realized this was becoming hard and almost impossible, I decided to do something about this.

That's when I heard of Toastmasters club. This re-kindled my interest to get over my fear of public speaking. So, as soon as I got an opportunity, I enrolled myself into Toastmasters Club.

It has been extremely good experience so far. I have managed to complete 4 speaking projects (out of total 10 to become a competent communicator (CC)). I will be doing the 5th one this month. So, wish me luck.

For those who want to use my projects as templates, I will start posting them here... :)

Heartless in Bangalore?

2009-07-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

Day in and Day out, I read numerous accident reports in the newspaper. Each article, there definitely is a mention of how people seldom help the accident victims and the need to change the mindset.

There has been tons of accounts when I have empathised with the victim(s) and have really cursed the spectators for not rushing to their aid.

And then, yesterday, I did the unthinkable !!!

I was driving back home from work. Enroute, I take a short cut to reach the main road. As I took this turn, I saw a middle aged person trying to climb on to his scooter. In the process, he fell down and the scooter fell on him.

I was the first one to see him. I hesitated for 1 minute on whether I should park my car and help this gentleman or drive-off. And to my horror, I just drove off. It took me 1 whole minute to realize what I had actually done.

I don't really have an answer to why I did not help this person. I could have helped him. Have I become so heartless?

Belgaum Beauty

2009-07-08T04:02:00.001-07:00

Who would have thought there was so much to Belgaum than just kunda. A colleague at work shared the following data about Belgaum. I am so impressed with these facts and pictures... that I decided to share it. Specially when i have travel-o-freaky friends on the blogosphere... I am sure someone will benefit :P

Gokak Falls - The Gokak falls can be accessed from Gokak (8 Kms) which is an hour journey from Belgaum.

Hanging Bridge - Walking on the Hanging Bridge and listening the gushing sound of the waterfall are the wonders of the Visit.

There's also a Hanging Bridge that runs across the fall, which was also built in 1887, runs strong, but the visitors are advised not to take it. The Bridge is reserved for Mill employees only, but normal visitors out there don't care for the notice and take a trip on the bridge on their own risk.

There's also a small temple of Lord Shiva on the banks of the falls.

Belgaum Fort Lake - called as KOTEKERE....Beautiful Boating spot...During Night Times

What's in a name? Part - 2

2009-07-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

Puttaswamy - or Putta. This was what he preferred to be called. A bright smile on his face and ever twinkling eyes. Contrary to his name, he stood tall with 6 ft and bulky frame. Who would have thought this person had a legacy behind him that he wanted to forget?

Putta, hails from Mandya. Younger out of 2 sons, he has been the black sheep in his family - in fact the entire village. While elder brother is a software engineer settled in London, our putta stayed back in his village to do business. And business he did, one after the other to count 40. And all 40 failed.

It went to the extent where villagers would shoo him off any gatherings, no relative would invite him for any family ceremonies. He was looked down upon. Last year when his 40th business failed, he wanted to commit suicide. That's when his brother recommended Landmark Forum to him.

Day 3 of the forum, I told him (ofcourse, in kannada. I have written the translated version here) "Putta, One day, you will be so very successful in your business that you will come back into this very forum and share your success story with fellow landmark graduates. Mark my words.
Don't give up and success will automatically be yours!!!"

The look he gave me was full of gratitude. There was no need for any words. He had tears floating in his eyes. All he could do was merely nod his head.

Putta, All the very best to you too. Phenomenal that without understanding one word english, you understood the landmark forum 100%. I realized that this day, you started your journey towards success!!!

What's in a name? Part - 1

2009-07-08T01:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, this was the title of a blog by one of the fellow bloggers. And I picked this on purpose.

3 weeks ago, when I attended The Landmark Forum, along with 320 other people. This was a life enriching experience, which I truly cannot explain in words. I want to share 2 specific stories that individuals shared during this forum. I will post them separately.

1. Dr. Rajalakshmi - Or Raji, the way she likes to be called.

Day 1 - when I met Raji, I saw this hep person wearing cool top and jeans, well combed hair, excellently maintained figure. String of achievements to talk about - Successful Gynaec, written & published cookery books, opening her own Nutrition Boutique for ladies very soon, extremely successful, beautiful and she seemed to have it all - enviable career, daughter, family everything. She came across as a super human being - able to juggle work/life, yoga/dance/hobbies/reading all into one day. (I thought - "wow... amazing that she can actually do so much in the same 24 hours she too has... I am sure there is something going on in her personal life, which is why she must be here")

Day - 2 - I came to know she is struggling to come to terms with her 11 years old divorce. Her daughter is a child prodigy when she started driving a 4WD at the age of 4. She did her maiden rally from Hyderabad to Bangalore at that age. Today she has joined Bangalore Medical College to study medicine. (I thought again, "Now I know why she is in the Landmark Forum. Just like I thought yesterday, this should be the dark side of her personal life, which she wants to complete")

Day - 3 - Raji came on stage to share her story. She was orphaned at the age of 3.5 months. She grew up at an orphanage that was not allowing girls to go to school. One day, the caretaker caned her so much that her skin peeled off and stuck to the cane. She walked over to where the cane was lying, picked up the piece of skin, stuck it back to her arm and determined "I am going to school and will be successful one day". From that day onwards, she worked as a house maid to earn her living and take herself through school and college. She won 18 gold medals and went on to study medicine and become a gynaec. (I thought "Do I really know this person well enough to judge her life?")

But fate had something else in store for her. 2 years back she was diagnosed with Cancer.

My impression of Raji changed drastically from a super woman - to - an achiever, a fighter and simply a WOMAN in 3 days time.

So, despite having the name of Rajalakshmi, she went through sheer poverty and misery to where she stands TALL today. And that too with equal elan. Hats off to you, Doctor. May you be all the more successful in your life. I am sure with the positive attitude that you already have, cancer can be easily defeated. Wish you all the very best!!!

Little Devil or Angel?

2009-07-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

After a tired day and a long drive, I reached home. Refreshed myself, took my son through his homework. Fed my kids. It was then time for me to prepare for next day's breakfast.

I washed the wet grinder and started putting the chawal and urad dal combo in it. On the kitchen platform, sat my latest possession - Tupperware water Filter (10 ltrs) with a tap. I am in fact proud of this possession as it really quenches our thirst during hours of load shedding.

While I was busy with this activity, I did not hear little aditi walk over to the water filter, press the tap and let half of the water out...

Before I realized... I was standing amidst large pool of water (5 ltrs). As I turned towards her in total disbelief, she gives me this angelic smile that really floors me.

All I could do was lift her up, give her a tight hug and a mock slap on her B*M

Rangoli and Kasuti Embroidary

2009-06-25T03:34:00.000-07:00

A form of embroidery in Karnataka, it is called Kasuti there and means same as kashidakari or embroidery. It has also been desiphered as art of cotton thread and hands. The art was practiced by ladies of Maharashtra and Karnataka specially in Dharwad and Bijapur. The embroidery gives an exquisite effect to the soft furnishings.
I simply love the geometric patterns. Especially when Kasuti is done on Ilkal Sarees or dress materials, the effect is awesome. Ilkal sarees usually use a darker background on which this emobroidary is made using shades of Red, White, Yellow and Blue to get the desired effect.

There is a strong resemblance between kasooti and Rangoli motifs, only that rangoli is done on floor at the doorsteps of houses and temples and Kasooti on fabric with needle and thread. The similarity of the motifs can be because both the things are done by the lady of the house, one as a religious ritual and another to occupy her after the household chores. The pattern is never drawn on the cloth. The design remains in the mind and is recreated on the cloth directly with the needle and thread.

Mutter & Capsicum Poha - My own recipe

2009-06-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

Folks, it is not everyday that I get to experiment in the kitchen. But today morning, when I was actually struggling to find a different dish that I could make, I stumbled upon this idea.

I tried it out and got rave reviews from my family members. So, thought of posting this very quick-n-simple-to-make dish for benefit of others.
==========================
Ingredients:
==========================

Frozen Peas - half cup (safal or any such brand)
Capsicum - 2 medium sized ones, chopped into 1/2 inch pieces
Onions - 2 large - chopped length-wise
Thick Poha - 3 cups (do NOT soak in water)
Oil - 2 TSP
Turmeric - 1 TSP
Chilli Powder - as per taste & spice desired - I added 1.5 tsps
Salt - as per taste
Grated Coconut, optional
Coriander leaves - finely chopped for garnishing.

Method:
=======

* Boil frozen peas and chopped capsicum together until done (microwave for 7-10 minutes), drain all water and keep it aside
* In a kadai, pour 2 tsp oil, add chopped onions, turmeric, chilli poweder and salt.
* Stir fry until onions are done
* To this, add boiled peas and capsicum and continue to stir fry for next 3-5 mins. This is to ensure peas and capsicum soak in the masala
* Add the dry poha and mix it well.
* Pour water into the kadai (little less than needed to submerge all the poha)
* Cover the kadai with a lid and keep the gas on medium flame and let this cook for another 8 minutes. In between, keep opening the lid and mixing the poha properly. Else, the poha at the bottom of the kadai might get over cooked and the ones at the top may be raw.
* Once poha is sufficiently cooked, garnish with freshly grated coconut, chopped coriander leaves * Serve hot

Funniest Bike Learning Experience

2009-06-24T04:48:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you the story of how I learnt to ride a 2-wheeler.

I fought with my dad and made him buy me a Hero Puch - first 4-stroke 2-wheeler to be launched. And I did this in rebelling against all well wishers who asked me to buy a gear-less vehicle.

Anyways, I finally had my bike and I was proud as a peacock. I got the "balancing" right. In order to practice riding, I used to take the vehicle out early in the morning.

One early morning, I set out towards Jnanabharathi Campus to practice my bike riding skills. I headed towards this as I knew vehicles were less and roads were good and decently wide...
Half way towards my destination, I had to negotiate an very uphill left bend.

Towards the left of the road were few huts and a huge garbage dump. One little kid was sitting near the garbage dump answering nature's call... (Now, don't say, sheesh, why is she writing about all this here... just wait until you read the entire story !!!)

I saw it from a distance and continued to ride towards the bend. As I was nearing the bend, I saw a bus coming from the opposite direction. I had not expected this. I got really scared. I was so busy thinking how I should work my way towards the left bend; that I did not observe the muddy patch.

Within no time, my bike skid off the road and I fell off slightly away from the garbage dump...5-7 feet away from where the little boy was s(h)itting!!! Next instant, I saw this little guy jump up and run towards the hut...

In 2 seconds, I realized that what had happened. Here was this little guy sitting peacfully by the road side. And there I come and fall couple of feet away from him... He was so scared that he actually thought I was falling on him... and he ran away...!!!

I found the whole incident so hilarious that even as i got up rubbing my wounds, I was laughing so loud... people gathered and started wondering whether I was in my senses :P

I am dead sure, this little guy, has never sat by the road's side to answer nature's call ever again :P

This is the most hilarious incident i can recollect associated with my bike riding experiences.

To end the story, I realized, riding a bike was tough. So, as i abandoned my bike, I resolved to drive a car when i started earning. That was when I could afford to buy a car...I could not ask my dad to buy one for me... Thankfully, that dream has come true :D

No...No more of such accidents!!!

Impact of Childhood Incidents

2009-06-22T04:56:00.001-07:00

It seems wierd as to how some incidents in your childhood tend to impact your life or shape your persona.

My brother was a 5 years old kid. I was 12 years and in my 7th standard. One saturday, I was doing my biology drawings. He came running and snatched my pencil sharpner knife. Since he was small and the knife sharpner was really sharp, I was scared that he would hurt himself. So, as an immediate reaction, I tried to snatch it from his hand.

And Lo!!! In that tussle, the knife gave a deep cut on his finger. Blood oozed out and he started wailing.

My mom, who had just about returned home from office, came running. She saw all the blood and without understanding the background screamed at me and said:

"Vidya, instead of fighting with him every day like this, why don't you just kill him once for all".

She was very angry. And I was deeply hurt. My mother, whom I loved so much, had made such a statement. She had not even tried to find out the fact that I was actually trying to save him from hurting himself...

That was the LAST MEMORY I have of my brother. I "switched" him off from my mind. And that was the last day I spoke with him.

From that day, to the next 15 years, I did not talk to him. I was totally indifferent to him and his upbringing. To the extent that, I don't remember or recollect any image of him growing up or in his teens.

Although, I do talk to him now... I don't have that closeness I should ideally have with my brother.

Brother, this is not your fault. It is just a decision I made when I was small owing to this incident. I know I have been a jerk and I take full responsibility for doing this. I am hoping I will improve and do something about this at least now...

Father's Day

2009-06-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

My father quit his banking job to open a restuarant. When he was in Bank, he had set time. He would leave home 8 a.m. in the morning and return by 6 p.m. However, with the change in occupation, demands on his time rose. He started leaving home by 6 a.m. and return by 10 p.m.

I had so many complaints on him. He did not come to school to pay my fees - made me pay my own fees even when I was in 2nd standard. He never asked me how school was, what I was doing at school, what were my grades, what i need to study, what should i do and what i should not do.

The only time he actually intervened was when i had to decide on what college i wanted to study after completing 10th. His choice was one close to our restaurant and i loathed that college. And the fact that i had to study in that college eventually, increased my resentment towards him.

My list of complaints just got lengthier......

But yesterday, on Father's day, I was out attending the Landmark Forum. The coach of the forum was talking about our relationships with our parents. One statement he made touched a chord and opened a whole new world of possibilities.
"Your parents did what they did for you. And to the best of their abilities. How much have you acknowledged that?"

Tears started flowing down my cheeks. I had never never thought from this angle. His working hard was to provide food, clothes and shelter to us. How could a simple thing like this not enter my head all these years?

Nonetheless, I consoled myself "Better late than never". I called up my dad from my cell. I told him:

"Annu, all these years you have worked so hard and done so much for us. You made sure we are educated, we went to college and earned masters degree, you are so proud to see us now, successful in our jobs... and yet, we never have thanked you enough. I want to acknowledge you for everything you have done for me till now. You are a very good father and I am proud of you."

Confused Desis to Confused ITEs (ITEs = Information Technology Engineers)

2009-06-17T23:17:00.000-07:00

During mid 90s, several software engineers quit their plum, high-paying jobs because they could not stand the work pressure. Any typical day, people were expected to put 10-12 hours of work.

After couple of years, there was a new wave of perspective that swiped the software industry - work/life balance became the new HR mantra for employee retention. Things seemed to improve. People were again happy and proud with their jobs. IT grooms were again talk of the matrimonial market.

However, despite providing good benefits and all fancy facilities, software engineers are truly not a happy lot.

In the recent 15 days, I have heard so many incidents where software engineers have talked about being frustrated, read reports about suicides etc.

Last week, my neighbour who is a practice head with a top IT company in Bangalore was telling my hubby that he was getting really frustrated and is considering leaving this field for good. In fact, he has taken a baby step towards this and has already started teaching at a local near-by college.

My hubby has been singing the same song for the past 10 months - "I want to do something on my own" And each time I ask him "what do you want to do?". He has no answers. He is just wading in the dark.

Yesterday, I was reading in a blog where the blogger, a IT engineer himself, wanted to do something different than IT.

Today morning, I again read in the papers that a software engineer working in Bangalore boarded a Hyderabad bus. He went to a temple there only to consume cyanide and kill himself.

I am confused. I fail to understand what is happening. Is this the next wave of different kind of brain drain?

Are these subtle alarms that we need to take heed before this becomes a pandemic?

Collage Competition - Fun at Work

2009-06-17T01:58:00.000-07:00

As part of the Fun at Work month, we had a "Collage Competition" at Office today. I am posting few pictures from the same.

The topic was "Festivals & Celebrations" - and guess what each team concentrated on in their theme? - FOOD, ofcourse :D

Title of this collage -------- "The FOOD Festival"

Topic of this collage --------- "Food & Illness"

Title of this collage -------- "Festivals, Celebrations & Food"

Hudugi Noduva Karyakrama

2009-06-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

My sister wanted me to remove this blog as she feared someone in our family circle might read it and get offended.

So, dear sis, Thy wish is my command

To Mr X with Love :P

2009-06-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

When I drive to & from office, I am like a horse - concentrating ONLY on the goal of reaching
office/home in record time. I seldom crane my neck to observe people or things unless it is toooo obvious. Leave alone hunting for handsome hunks...

Yesterday on my way to the office, I saw this motorist coming in the opposite direction. And something on his face caught my attention. That was the first time in the last 12 years my gaze had actually stopped on some guy's face for more than a fleeting second. This guy fitted my description of "handsome" - now-a-days this word is very personalized.

I drove through after that "more than fleeting glimpse" of that motorist. But there was a grin on my face as my memories took me back in time. Suddenly I remembered this particular guy on whom I had major crush during school days.

I was in 10th standard, and there was this college going dude who used to take the bus from the same stop early morning 6.30 a.m. And I used to feel terrible about not being able to draw his attention on me. He used to be very well dressed and smart. While I was really fat, wearing white school uniform and well oiled plaited hair :(He used to board the same bus and would get off at the same bus stop as me. This gave me 30 mins time to line marofy him.

Those days, I used to own an orange colored kashmiri jacket. And to me, it was the most fashionable item to wear. So, in order to draw this hunk's attention, I started wearing that jacket. I would even put my hands into its pocket to appear stylish....

Not that this tactic helped... he never gave me even a second glance.... i had told about him to 2 of my close friends at school and we had nicknamed him Amir Khan. He had the same hair style as Amir Khan in QSQT.

This continued through the year with NO results. And there I used to wait week after week seeing him from a distance and observing his style and stance. How casually he used to wait there with one leg folded against the wall behind him....

Well, this is where the story ends !!!

I am actually unable to understand why seeing this motorist actually brougth forth memories of this guy... but it definitely was a very niiiiiice feeling to revisit the bus stop and catch faint, fading glimpses of this unknown person.

Janeyagiru Nanna Mallige

2009-06-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

Janeyagiru Nanna Mallige
Nee Hennagi Bandiruve Illige...

How True....
There was a time when I used to scoff at this song. I hated this song, may be it was a phase of denial!!! But today, when I look back, I almost agree with that song... Times change... We grow up and our mindset changes ....

Small incidents that happen in my day to day routine reminds me of this song:

Every day, as I travel to and from my Gym, I observe several ladies plucking flowers from others' gardens. When I see this, I have a strong urge to yell at them

"Hey, what is the meaning of you plucking flowers from someone else's garden? Do you know how patiently they might sowed the plants, watered them and waited for them to grow and flower? They do all the hard work and you take the flower?"

But the only reason why the words don't come out of my mouth is because this seems to be nature's well accepted logic.

Look at the little ones of birds - eggs hatch, mother feeds the young ones... the moment they learn to fly.. they are out of the nest.

I kind of more liken this to our daughters - we give birth to them, look after them so lovingly, make sure their feet don't know thorns, their eyes don't know tears ... and see them grow tall and beautiful... and yet one day, they leave you behind to be the brightness of someone else's home.................

Sigh.....

Dose - Chutney

2009-06-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

I had made yummy Ragi - Rava Dosa Today. My own recipe :P

Before you guys roll your eyes... it actually turned up very yum.... i had a bite and the gastronomical juices drowned me.

Eeee Dose gu Chutney gu yenu bandhavo?
Eeee Dose gu Coffee gu yenu snehavo?
Nodalu mohaka
Saviyalu Daivaka
Yenu Maayavo......???

Talk about food getting poetry out of me ;)

Joggers Park

2009-06-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Every day morning, I walk down to my Gym located 5 mins from my house. On my way, I have to cross a park. Several grannys, grandpas, uncles and aunts would have already started their routine of running, walking or jogging.

In the 2-3 minutes that I take to cross that park, I have observed that there are several kinds of people that constitutes the early jogger set:

1. AG or Aunties' Group - Usually group of 4-5 ladies who are 50+ years. For this group, walking is just a reason to catch up on gossip. I hear them say "Avathu nanna sose yenandlu gotha...."

2. UG or Uncles Group - Group of 8-10 guys ranging from early 40s to late 70s wearing trendy sports outfit including a sports shoe walking briskly debating on IPL, World cup, wimbeldon and local politics. Jovial bunch taking a dig at each other... its fun to watch them

3. HW - House Work Group - The Husband and Wife pair who use this time to discuss their daily problems, plan for their home, kids, future.... seems more like brooding session than exercise session. I wonder whether few rounds around the park really helps them de-stress?

4. Yippee Bunch - Flexing muscles or bulges this bunch goes round the park with equal elan. Hep with a MP3 or Ipod stuck to their jogging suits, they are in their own world. Seems more like they want to show-off themselves to other Yippee Guys/Girls that go around the park. Quite interesting ;)

Overall, it makes me really happy to see us waking up to a healthy mindset. It is exciting to see I have so many people for company

On all cold and wet days, I used to be so reluctant to get up from my warm, cozy bed. But seeing so many people following the routine judiciously gives me the energy to drag myself out and head to the Gym :P

Call it Motivating Factor !!!

Which way is HOME?

2009-06-01T22:46:00.001-07:00

Old is Gold?

2009-06-01T03:09:00.000-07:00

Incident # 1

An aged (75 years) widower is staying with his son, daughter-in-law and grand-son. The widower cannot see and hear properly owing to age. Friday he was very upset with this DIL and Son for not changing his dirty bed spread. He must have had an argument and unable to take this any further... decided to walk out of the house...

He came back in 30 minutes, took with him some cash. Next 2 days, nobody heard any news about what happened to this grandpa. Nobody was putting any efforts to find out where he was, whether he was well...

Saturday late evening, the son received a call from a stranger. The stranger said "Sir, there is an old man sitting here in a park. He gave me your number and said he was your father. Apparently the money he had with him was swindled by few boys. He does not have a penny on him. He does not seems to have eaten anything nor slept over the last 1.5 days... can you please come and take him?"

The son went and brought him back on saturday night. The old person was dilirious and down with throat infection. Apparently he had stumbled and fallen in the park.

What must have the father gone through while requesting the stranger to phone his son?

Incident # 2

A son takes his mother to a distant relatives house. After the visit, he got up to go. He turned to his mother and said "I am leaving you here... I dont want you to come back to my house - ever."

Incident # 3

The son is on a visit to his home town. His mother calls him into a room and tells him "My son, I have been living with your brother for several years now. But he is saying he will not take care of me going forward. Can you please provide me with a shelter somewhere?"

The son, who has his own house in a metro and has sons himself - all very well settled, does not respond.

Incident # 4

On a Saturday morning, a granny, diagnosed with breathlessness problem is hospitalized. Doctors at the hospital are unable to figure out what's wrong.

She is able to walk, talk and all vital signs are fine but complains of breathlessness. Her children organize for an ambulance to take her to a bigger hospital (Apollo Mallya). All kids, grandkids are with her. They all have taken permission or leave to be with her because they all truly love her. It is a Saturday.

She has severe back ache. She cannot reach her back herself to soothe the pain. So requests her daughter and grand daughter, who are beside her, to help her. Daughter and Grand daughter are very happy and more than willing to help out the dear mother and grand mother.

As both of them start massaging her back, her eyes fill with tears... Grand daughter asks her "Anama (paternal granny in konkani), why are you crying?"
She responds "I heard that they are getting an ambulance to shift me to a bigger hospital. I am feeling very sad for the amount of hardship I am giving to all of you. I wish I could make it any more easy"

The grand daughter's eyes filled with tears - Even in pain, her granny is thinking about the hardship she was causing to others while forgetting her own pain. Grand daughter's heart salutes her granny.

Granny passed away same day mid night from Brain Hemorrhage...

WHAT ARE WE DOING TO KEEP OUR AGED PARENTS WITH US? AND TRULY HAPPY?
When all they have in their hearts is good wishes for us - their children?