Last several weeks has seen me dig deeper into myself to understand and introspect. Who I am and why I am like this - I know not. Am I that small girl whose father chose to keep her at an arm's length? Am I that teen aged girl whose father doubted her for no reasons and without any background or history? Am I that wife whose husband chose someone over his wife?
I am going to a shrink to help me uncover the answer. Its interesting that though I have read several self-help books - Louise Hay and Brian Weiss - peace and trust is not coming easily to me. I am saddened where I have reached today. I wish I had reacted differently to my situations, I wish I had voiced to my father how lonely or isolated I felt, voiced to my siblings that I was among them when they chose not to "see" me, voiced my feelings to my husband on what i was going through or simply walked out.
Is it my karma that makes me keep quite and go through all this? What is the lesson I need to learn by going through these lessons? When will it be revealed to me? I know not. My only hope is to heal. When will the healing come - I have no clue...
I am going to a shrink to help me uncover the answer. Its interesting that though I have read several self-help books - Louise Hay and Brian Weiss - peace and trust is not coming easily to me. I am saddened where I have reached today. I wish I had reacted differently to my situations, I wish I had voiced to my father how lonely or isolated I felt, voiced to my siblings that I was among them when they chose not to "see" me, voiced my feelings to my husband on what i was going through or simply walked out.
Is it my karma that makes me keep quite and go through all this? What is the lesson I need to learn by going through these lessons? When will it be revealed to me? I know not. My only hope is to heal. When will the healing come - I have no clue...
To me, you are the person who makes me strong about myself whenever I talk to you. You are the person who wants goes out to get a life inspite of the way life has treated you all these years. You are the person, who shows a strong face to the outer world, as you dont want them to be saddened.
ReplyDeleteFor me, my friend, you are one of my guides, from whom I've learnt to keep my fear, my sadness, my sorrow, my pains and all things negative to myself, sallow it and lead life bindass. I love you my friend. You give me strenght to live my life and I in return suggest you to just lead it