Last several weeks has seen me dig deeper into myself to understand and introspect. Who I am and why I am like this - I know not. Am I that small girl whose father chose to keep her at an arm's length? Am I that teen aged girl whose father doubted her for no reasons and without any background or history? Am I that wife whose husband chose someone over his wife?
I am going to a shrink to help me uncover the answer. Its interesting that though I have read several self-help books - Louise Hay and Brian Weiss - peace and trust is not coming easily to me. I am saddened where I have reached today. I wish I had reacted differently to my situations, I wish I had voiced to my father how lonely or isolated I felt, voiced to my siblings that I was among them when they chose not to "see" me, voiced my feelings to my husband on what i was going through or simply walked out.
Is it my karma that makes me keep quite and go through all this? What is the lesson I need to learn by going through these lessons? When will it be revealed to me? I know not. My only hope is to heal. When will the healing come - I have no clue...
I am going to a shrink to help me uncover the answer. Its interesting that though I have read several self-help books - Louise Hay and Brian Weiss - peace and trust is not coming easily to me. I am saddened where I have reached today. I wish I had reacted differently to my situations, I wish I had voiced to my father how lonely or isolated I felt, voiced to my siblings that I was among them when they chose not to "see" me, voiced my feelings to my husband on what i was going through or simply walked out.
Is it my karma that makes me keep quite and go through all this? What is the lesson I need to learn by going through these lessons? When will it be revealed to me? I know not. My only hope is to heal. When will the healing come - I have no clue...
