For the last couple of years, I have been constantly on the look out for peace of mind. I just wanted to get away from everyone - family, friends, foes - everyone. And to me, this international assignment came as a blessing in disguise - or so I thought.
Little did I know I would be staring at a time warp just in a year's time? Looking back the past 13 months - nothing has changed - the same problems, issues, headaches, fights, and over same topic.
However, one thing has definitely changed - i have become a little more vocal about my thoughts and opinion and to a vast degree developing a "i care the heck" attitude (May be good for me!!)
For 13 years, I have kept quite - knowing what was going around me, fully aware of consequences - both long and short. And after this long span, I decided to speak up - make my point very clear that I do not like what is going on - I feel cheated and had for. I don't know if speaking up was the right thing - nor do I know if this was the wrong thing. It is more like the christian wedding vow "If anyone has an objection to this marriage, you may speak up now or for ever hold up your peace".
Speaking did not bring me any solace either - but it did make one thing clear that I am not understood - perhaps never going to be too. Only thing I heard was "you are misunderstanding the issue; you are taking decisions based on your insecurities and I cannot tolerate your insecurities and your behavior"
My response was "My insecurities and behaviors are mine. If you cannot tolerate it - learn to live with it. After 13 long years, I have found my voice and I am not going to keep quite. Every married woman has insecurities and it is her absolute right to have those"
The only response I got for this was complete silence - this time, it feels like this silence is permanent. There is no break through I am seeing or should I even see?
Little did I know I would be staring at a time warp just in a year's time? Looking back the past 13 months - nothing has changed - the same problems, issues, headaches, fights, and over same topic.
However, one thing has definitely changed - i have become a little more vocal about my thoughts and opinion and to a vast degree developing a "i care the heck" attitude (May be good for me!!)
For 13 years, I have kept quite - knowing what was going around me, fully aware of consequences - both long and short. And after this long span, I decided to speak up - make my point very clear that I do not like what is going on - I feel cheated and had for. I don't know if speaking up was the right thing - nor do I know if this was the wrong thing. It is more like the christian wedding vow "If anyone has an objection to this marriage, you may speak up now or for ever hold up your peace".
Speaking did not bring me any solace either - but it did make one thing clear that I am not understood - perhaps never going to be too. Only thing I heard was "you are misunderstanding the issue; you are taking decisions based on your insecurities and I cannot tolerate your insecurities and your behavior"
My response was "My insecurities and behaviors are mine. If you cannot tolerate it - learn to live with it. After 13 long years, I have found my voice and I am not going to keep quite. Every married woman has insecurities and it is her absolute right to have those"
The only response I got for this was complete silence - this time, it feels like this silence is permanent. There is no break through I am seeing or should I even see?
