Girls in my circle

Here is a cute forward, which i wanted to share with everyone :P

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in manyfriends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom..
Another will sit beside you in the bleachersas you delight in your children and their activities Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'Another , 'Let's fight together,' Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet youwith their gym shoes on and hair pulledback,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,

Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother, On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters, And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years, AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your lifeTo make a difference.
Thanks for being in my circle.
If you delete this message, you will gain 10 kgs - I couldn't chance it... I can almost feel myself losing weight . . .. by forwarding this to you!

Escapade

I asked her to stand outside while I made a pitstop to a nearby grocery shop to buy a pack of biscuits. I was on my way home from office and was very hungry. I told her I would come back in a jiffy. And, off I went.

Inside the shop (mini super market), I purchased not 1 but several pack of biscuits, and so many other things. Let me not go through my purchases... all in all, by the time I came out after paying the bill, she was not there... where i had left her.

I was shocked. I did not know what to do, or where to look for her. I called my husband to tell him about this incident. He was equally stunned. He suggested I talk to the traffic cop.
As I proceeded towards the next traffic signal, where i knew I could find a cop, I saw her... someone had dragged her into their vehicle and were taking her by force with them. I was furious. How can they do this to a hapless person?

I ran behind that vehicle like a person possessed. But unfortunately, just at that instant, the traffic turned green and that vehicle sped off. I ran to the stationary cop and said "Look, they are dragging the hapless person in their vehicle... do you know where they are headed to?"
The cop answered, "Looks like they are headed towards ulsoor...why don't you take an auto and follow them?". He laughed at my predicament, which made me even more angry.

I flagged an auto, hopped in and directed the hapless driver to follow the vehicle. The driver was very confused to see a girl flagging him down with such furore. He did not have a choice but to comply.

Luckily as per the cop's direction, that vehicle was indeed going towards Ulsoor. I intercepted them near Ulsoor. I talked to her tormentors and begged them to release her. Seeing the pain in my voice, they relented. "Not without paying a price", they said. I agreed to pay any price to get her away from their clutches. We bargained and struck a price. I paid them. After they went away, I got her home.

I was proud of her and myself for bearing this agony stoically.

As I parked her in our compound, I told her how brave she was to go through such an episode today. I promised her I would never park her recklessly on the road that would lead the traffic cops to tow her away again.

As she settled down after such a stressful day, she seemed to understand and forgive me!!!

Birthdays and Childhood

Today is my son's birthday. And he was soooo happy. The phone just won't stop ringing from people wanting to wish him.. from grandparents to his friends and cousins.

He wore color dress to his school carrying chocolates to be distributed to all his classmates and not to forget his teachers...

He was so happy he has grown a year older. (I keep telling him that he will grow big only if he goes to school, else he will remain the small 6 years old guy. And this is something he truly believes in :P)

When I look into myself, I realize I have lost the enthusiasm to celebrate birthdays. I used to be a fun loving girl and my birthdays used to be "BIG" parties. I had groups of friends whom I had to definitely meet that day. College group (classmates, seniors, girls group), school group, old friends, neighbourhood friends, cousins so on and so forth. After treating each of the groups from breakfast to dinner, I would reach home only by 10 p.m. with all my gifts dumped into a big gunny bag.

And look at where I am today. I see my birthday as yet another day. No passion anymore to celebrate or buy gifts... where did I lose the child in me?

I am so clueless..never realized when it happened....

Broken Resolution

Few days back, I had resolved to take a long break...
But I am finding it so difficult to keep this resolution... So difficult that I decided to break it :P

Am I writing too many blogs?

My thoughts have become muddled :(
I will take a long break !!!

Black is beautiful?

"Black is not a color", said Edouard Manet.

Black has always been a synonym to impurity, darkness, bad luck and what not.

1. In south India, we never gift black dress materials or sarees for festivals or weddings.

2. Black Widow Spider is quoted often when referring to a "bad" wife because this spider gobbles up its husband after laying eggs.

On the contrary:
1. During Gowri Festival, the goddess' is offered with "Gowri Butti" or Gowri's ensembles, that contains 2 small black bangles.
2. Black kajal is applied to all kids to ward off evil.
3. We wear black clothes to look glamorous and beautiful - black goes with all colors and hence you can really mix and match well. So, black is a chosen color for all fashion designers.
4. In all romantic novels, it is the TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome) guy that gets to marry the herione eventually
5. The movie "Black" carved a niche for itself in the history of Bollywood.
6. Our hair, which is called the crowning glory, is indeed black in color and this helps accentuate our beauty.

So, why then are we obsessed with White and Fair? Or is this as hypocritical as India and Article 377? Marcus Aurelius has said it right when he quoted "The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts"

My daughter is beautiful

Yesterday, my FIL made a comment "Your daughter is like a doll. She is so loveable and cuddalable. But she is not beautiful. She looks like Moddu and Muddu (dumb female)"

Well, I was certainly not happy to hear this. I totally believe in the kannada adage "Hethavarige Heggana Muddu" roughly translates to "You will love the child you give birth to, even if it happens to be a RAT"

So, dear Aditi, no matter what Thatha tells you, I love you with all my heart. I want you to know that my days have brightened after you came into my life. There have been nights when I have been awake but content at just staring at your lovely face... there are days when I shed tears just thinking about the day when you will get married, leave us and go.

And trust me...your appa goes through the same emotions ...

Incident at the Beauty Parlor

I go to the beauty parlor once a fortnight, mostly to get my eye brows trimmed. Very rarely for pedicure or any beauty treatments. This is mostly because time is luxury for me and I get only week ends to get my eye brows trimmed. And most week ends, we have one or the other occasion to attend or visits by relatives.
So, amidst all this, creating those 10 minutes for an eye brow trim is truly luxury to me.

The parlor that I regularize is run by 3 girls. I have always seen them with awe. They work very hard and I have been proud of the fact that they are standing on their feet and are independent.

So, a fortnight back when I went there (at 6 p.m.) for my regular eye brow trim, I was shocked to hear one of them talk to me rudely "Its closing time now. We cannot do your eyebrows."

Although taken aback, I told them firmly "Look, I have been trying to come here since 2 p.m. However, today being a Sunday, I have been having lot of visitors at home, back to back. So, this is the time I could really get and hence you have to do it".

Grudgingly she accepted and trimmed my eye brows. On my way back, I realized that this parlor did not have any board that mentioned the work timings. Mentally making a note of this to give them a feedback next fortnight, i went home.

Yesterday, I again went there. This time at 4 p.m. just so they don't get angry with me for landing there at closing time. Again, I was in for a rude shock.

The instant I sat down on the chair, one of the 3 girls asked me what I wanted. I said "Eye brows". To this, she said very rudely "We will not do it today. There are people waiting for facial and pedicure and manicure. You come tomorrow".

I told her humbly "I need to go to work tomorrow". She did not respond. Just looked the other way.

And I was angry - i simply walked out and told myself "Today, you guys have lost a customer".

I truly do not know what I have done to arouse such a reaction from them. Or was it the fact that their investment of 10 minutes would reap only Rs. 15 income while the same time invested on a facial would bring them Rs. 500?

I am too pained at this moment to conclude.

Kids and Fever

Today, I have decided to work from home. Simply because my son is down with Viral Fever and he has had temperature of 103.6 since last 2 days. I am very concerned about his health.

1 hour at home, I realize may be I made a mistake... may be i dreamt that he was down with fever... He has been playing since 7 a.m. the time he woke up today. He wrote something, he painted few drawings, and now trying to "create" his own tune on his casio keyboard...

May be I am the one who is sick and not him :P

Not to forget... his sister is vying with him to do exactly same thing that he does... she wants to paint along with him and create music on his keyboard... often she forgets the fact that she is just 1.8 years old and truly does not even know how to hold a pen properly :D

Appa, where can I reach you?

Dear Appa,
As your time nears, I have come to realize what you mean to me. Today, I want to tell you - you mean the world to me.

You have always been interested every day to find out how my day has gone by. You have fidgeted and frowned each time I have fallen sick, goading me to go to the doctor ... you even resorted to threatening me to see a doctor when I would not listen to you. I know you wished well for me each time you said that...And there have been several instances when I have not listened to you at all - and have been as obnoxious as a weed.

When there are festivals, you always are in the fore front to celebrate them. Never made me feel the absence of my mother-in-law. You took the kitchen by storm to cook the most sumptous puliogarai or kesari bath... how can we ever forget the all famous semiya payasam? "Payasa madidre munnu maama taraha madabeku" goes the adage in our family circles :P

How can I forget Srikrishna janmashtami celebrations? Pulling down the table, you sit right in the middle of the living room decorating the "santum sanctorum" to keep the diety with mango leaves, fruits and all delicious things I would prepare? How many times have you offered to buy them from the shop ready-made when you saw me taking the strain to cook all those things at home? Times when you have been so proud of your bahu for understanding your traditions and preparing all the delicacies at home...

Today I proudly tell my family - I learnt cooking from appa. All the praises and accolades from relatives over my cooking testify that I have been a good student.

Being a foodie, you have always loved good home-cooked food. Perhaps I have always known this deep in my heart. Which is why each time they serve kajjaya, semiya payasam or puliogarai at office, I have called you to tell you about it. And you have always told me "Why dont you get some home?". Sadly, each time, I have responded "I cannot get it home, appa. It is part of lunch at Office".

Now I realize, I could have at least tried to get some of it home - if I had paid a price, which I would not have minded. May be I would have succeeded in fullfilling your wishes...
Today, as I called you home once more to tell you about the sumptuous puliogarai that was served as part of the special meal, my eyes were moist... Very soon, I truly would not know where to call you and how to reach you.....

Appa, do you really have to leave us and go?

Toastmasters Project # 1: Ice Breaker

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Fellow Toastmaster and guests, Good Evening

I am the eldest daughter of Re and Vij Pai. I was born on Valentine’s Day to a happy mother and a disappointed father. My father wanted a son.

My sister was born a year later increasing my father’s disappointment. After a gap of 7 years, my father’s prayers were answered. My brother was born.

Since both my parents were bank employees, my upbringing happened at my maternal grand parents’ house. My grandfather was a freedom fighter. Although he never went to school, he could fix any mechanical device all by himself.

My grandmother was a homemaker. She was a religious lady.

My first beautiful memories of childhood start from here.

As I close my eyes, I see myself running in the small garden outside their house plucking leaves and flowers.

My grandfather hauling me up on the baby seat of his bicycle and drop me to my nursery school. I can still smell the smell of my lunch box packed with hot Rice with Milk. I can still see my BIG class room with its semi-circle shaped wooden mats.

I am among the lucky few who got to study in 8 different schools in a span of 8 years.

After schooling, I did my bachelor degree majoring in computer science from SJR College.

In between school and college, my father had resigned from bank services to open his own restaurant.

This being close to my college proved disastrous. As I entered, boys would welcome me with comments on how little chutney was being served or that the prices were high. Some even suggested that I take them for a free lunch one of the days. How embarrassed I would feel?

Being born on Valentine’s Day, I grew up with the thought that I should marry only for love. I really do not recollect when this thought came to sit firmly in my head – but it did. During my graduation, I was more in love with the thought of falling in love than love itself.

So, when one of my classmates proposed, I was over the moon. I was so happy that I even took to writing poetry and singing those old hindi romantic songs :P

Well, this definitely had an impact on my Pre University Board results. I barely managed to pass with 60%. My dream of studying medicine ended. So did my romance.

I learnt an important lesson – never mix your personal life with your professional career. I decided not to repeat this mistake ever again.

When I was wondering on next steps, a cousin suggested MCA. I took his suggestion and passed out of MCA with distinction.

My first job was with Iflex Solutions.

Now that I was professionally settled, my parents wanted me to marry. I was in a fix. How could I marry someone who I did not know anything about?

One day as I was walking, someone called out to me. I turned to see Sr, my college-mate waving at me. We had not been in touch over the last 3-4 years and to meet after a long time was really good.

Little did I realize that fate had something in store for me? Several months later, over coffee I shared my concerns about marriage with him. He suggested “Why would not anyone marry you? All you have to do is find a person you like and ask him to marry you.” My hasty reaction was “It is easy for you to say. Will YOU marry me?” He laughed and said “YES, ofcourse”. I was shocked. It took sometime for this to sink in. I accepted humbly. May be this was a mistake because even today, he accuses me of tricking him into marrying me :P

Today we are proud parents of 2 naughty but sweet children – Akash and Aditi. Akash is 5 years and Aditi is 8 months old. All my free time gets spent in their company leaving me with no time to pursue my hobbies of Reading, Stained Glass or embroidery.

There were turning points in my life where I had to take decisions. Today, when I look back, may be:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Future of Dating

Click these pictures to enlarge them ...

Swaram Tagged me :P

Swaram had left a tag for me on one of her blogs - post the picture you love the most and explain why you love it the most.
Luckily it was an easy one. This one is my all time favorite.

Its my secret wish that some day, I will be standing / sitting on this pier waiting for that someone who will love me as deeply as the guy in Nicholas Sparks novel "The Message in a Bottle" :P

This can, ofcourse, happen only in my next birth as I am already married and have no intention of waiting for that "someone" by any pier... In One birth, One Marriage is vastly sufficient :D

But seriously speaking, this picture depicts the loneliness in my heart perfectly !!!

FIL's Undying Spirit

Liver Cancer has been imbibing my Father-in-law's energy and making him tired all the time. A jovial person who would walk down to neighbour's house for a casual brunch-time coffe-chat, can now be seen sleeping with no energy to get up and go down the stairs.

Oncologist did warn us about this and urged us to push him to walk and exercise his body. And this has been my hubby's and my constant effort. Each day, we spent lot of time and effort to talk to him, push and goad him to get up and walk, exercise.

Habitually, he dozes off immediately after breakfast, which according to my husband is not a good habit. This saturday was no different. He had had his breakfast and was sitting on the sofa waiting for sleep goddess to sing her lullaby.

My husband and I were sitting next to him. My hubby started "appa, what is this, you are dozing off again. Why can't you be a bit active and get yourself some exercise? You are ruining what is left of your health".

Immediately my FIL looked at me and said "In the film, Manasa Sarovara, there is a song "Neene saakida gini..ninna muddina gini...
haddagi kukkitallo, ninna haddagi kukkitallo...
Vidya, this guy is like the parrot in this song which is now pecking me like an eagle ......"

All I could do was hold my stomach and roll in laughter... while my hubby was seen fuming... :D

Despite all his pain, the spirit with which he makes others laugh is definitely commendable!!!

Toastmasters Club

I am terrified of public speaking. In a formal gathering of even 5 people, I cannot talk. My heart thumps faster, my hands and feet go numb, I start shaking and shivering. Almost all times, I have wished I were dead.

Now, my role in the organization demands that I walk up to the stage and talk in front of at least 250-300 people at any given time. I have been shirking all opportunities of public speaking. However, when I realized this was becoming hard and almost impossible, I decided to do something about this.

That's when I heard of Toastmasters club. This re-kindled my interest to get over my fear of public speaking. So, as soon as I got an opportunity, I enrolled myself into Toastmasters Club.

It has been extremely good experience so far. I have managed to complete 4 speaking projects (out of total 10 to become a competent communicator (CC)). I will be doing the 5th one this month. So, wish me luck.

For those who want to use my projects as templates, I will start posting them here... :)

Heartless in Bangalore?

Day in and Day out, I read numerous accident reports in the newspaper. Each article, there definitely is a mention of how people seldom help the accident victims and the need to change the mindset.

There has been tons of accounts when I have empathised with the victim(s) and have really cursed the spectators for not rushing to their aid.

And then, yesterday, I did the unthinkable !!!

I was driving back home from work. Enroute, I take a short cut to reach the main road. As I took this turn, I saw a middle aged person trying to climb on to his scooter. In the process, he fell down and the scooter fell on him.

I was the first one to see him. I hesitated for 1 minute on whether I should park my car and help this gentleman or drive-off. And to my horror, I just drove off. It took me 1 whole minute to realize what I had actually done.

I don't really have an answer to why I did not help this person. I could have helped him. Have I become so heartless?

Belgaum Beauty

Who would have thought there was so much to Belgaum than just kunda. A colleague at work shared the following data about Belgaum. I am so impressed with these facts and pictures... that I decided to share it. Specially when i have travel-o-freaky friends on the blogosphere... I am sure someone will benefit :P

Gokak Falls - The Gokak falls can be accessed from Gokak (8 Kms) which is an hour journey from Belgaum.


Hanging Bridge - Walking on the Hanging Bridge and listening the gushing sound of the waterfall are the wonders of the Visit.


There's also a Hanging Bridge that runs across the fall, which was also built in 1887, runs strong, but the visitors are advised not to take it. The Bridge is reserved for Mill employees only, but normal visitors out there don't care for the notice and take a trip on the bridge on their own risk.

There's also a small temple of Lord Shiva on the banks of the falls.

Belgaum Fort Lake - called as KOTEKERE....Beautiful Boating spot...During Night Times

What's in a name? Part - 2

Puttaswamy - or Putta. This was what he preferred to be called. A bright smile on his face and ever twinkling eyes. Contrary to his name, he stood tall with 6 ft and bulky frame. Who would have thought this person had a legacy behind him that he wanted to forget?

Putta, hails from Mandya. Younger out of 2 sons, he has been the black sheep in his family - in fact the entire village. While elder brother is a software engineer settled in London, our putta stayed back in his village to do business. And business he did, one after the other to count 40. And all 40 failed.

It went to the extent where villagers would shoo him off any gatherings, no relative would invite him for any family ceremonies. He was looked down upon. Last year when his 40th business failed, he wanted to commit suicide. That's when his brother recommended Landmark Forum to him.

Day 3 of the forum, I told him (ofcourse, in kannada. I have written the translated version here) "Putta, One day, you will be so very successful in your business that you will come back into this very forum and share your success story with fellow landmark graduates. Mark my words.
Don't give up and success will automatically be yours!!!"

The look he gave me was full of gratitude. There was no need for any words. He had tears floating in his eyes. All he could do was merely nod his head.

Putta, All the very best to you too. Phenomenal that without understanding one word english, you understood the landmark forum 100%. I realized that this day, you started your journey towards success!!!

What's in a name? Part - 1

Yes, this was the title of a blog by one of the fellow bloggers. And I picked this on purpose.

3 weeks ago, when I attended The Landmark Forum, along with 320 other people. This was a life enriching experience, which I truly cannot explain in words. I want to share 2 specific stories that individuals shared during this forum. I will post them separately.

1. Dr. Rajalakshmi - Or Raji, the way she likes to be called.

Day 1 - when I met Raji, I saw this hep person wearing cool top and jeans, well combed hair, excellently maintained figure. String of achievements to talk about - Successful Gynaec, written & published cookery books, opening her own Nutrition Boutique for ladies very soon, extremely successful, beautiful and she seemed to have it all - enviable career, daughter, family everything. She came across as a super human being - able to juggle work/life, yoga/dance/hobbies/reading all into one day. (I thought - "wow... amazing that she can actually do so much in the same 24 hours she too has... I am sure there is something going on in her personal life, which is why she must be here")

Day - 2 - I came to know she is struggling to come to terms with her 11 years old divorce. Her daughter is a child prodigy when she started driving a 4WD at the age of 4. She did her maiden rally from Hyderabad to Bangalore at that age. Today she has joined Bangalore Medical College to study medicine. (I thought again, "Now I know why she is in the Landmark Forum. Just like I thought yesterday, this should be the dark side of her personal life, which she wants to complete")

Day - 3 - Raji came on stage to share her story. She was orphaned at the age of 3.5 months. She grew up at an orphanage that was not allowing girls to go to school. One day, the caretaker caned her so much that her skin peeled off and stuck to the cane. She walked over to where the cane was lying, picked up the piece of skin, stuck it back to her arm and determined "I am going to school and will be successful one day". From that day onwards, she worked as a house maid to earn her living and take herself through school and college. She won 18 gold medals and went on to study medicine and become a gynaec. (I thought "Do I really know this person well enough to judge her life?")

But fate had something else in store for her. 2 years back she was diagnosed with Cancer.

My impression of Raji changed drastically from a super woman - to - an achiever, a fighter and simply a WOMAN in 3 days time.

So, despite having the name of Rajalakshmi, she went through sheer poverty and misery to where she stands TALL today. And that too with equal elan. Hats off to you, Doctor. May you be all the more successful in your life. I am sure with the positive attitude that you already have, cancer can be easily defeated. Wish you all the very best!!!

Little Devil or Angel?

After a tired day and a long drive, I reached home. Refreshed myself, took my son through his homework. Fed my kids. It was then time for me to prepare for next day's breakfast.

I washed the wet grinder and started putting the chawal and urad dal combo in it. On the kitchen platform, sat my latest possession - Tupperware water Filter (10 ltrs) with a tap. I am in fact proud of this possession as it really quenches our thirst during hours of load shedding.

While I was busy with this activity, I did not hear little aditi walk over to the water filter, press the tap and let half of the water out...

Before I realized... I was standing amidst large pool of water (5 ltrs). As I turned towards her in total disbelief, she gives me this angelic smile that really floors me.

All I could do was lift her up, give her a tight hug and a mock slap on her B*M