We have planned a road trip and will soon be out on vacation. Yesterday, went to the rental agency to pick up the car we had booked. Enroute, the car company's shuttle service picked us up to take us to their office. Shuttle service was also picking up other passengers going to the same destination. Couple of ladies got into the van after us and they had a dog. The leash was so long that the dog came towards me to sniff... As it is, I am super scared of dogs (yeah yeah... I know, I am big, Dog is small and I have nothing to be scared... tell that to the small girl in me who was bitten by a puppy and had to take injections on the tummy, bleeding profusely for the last 2 injections...!!!).
To come back to the story... I moved to the front of the van and told the ladies I was scared of the dog so was moving away... usually foreigners are very understanding people and I believed they understood my need to move away from the dog...
shortly another family got in and the van started towards the rental car office, which was approximately 2 kms away. I heard a comment being made, "I work in IT and all workers are Indians. I am learning Hindi... oh..how Indians wobble their head...its so funny".
Now, being in IT, this is a comment I have heard way tooooo many times to my liking... the westerners (i am using this word to identify all white people) call it "the great indian head nod". And most of the time, I have heard, smiled and walked away...
However, yesterday, it got me thinking. There is truth in it that we Indians nod our head one too many times... and as I mulled over it, I realized few things:
1. Since childhood, Indian elders always ask us to "nod our head" to indicate we have understood whatever they are telling us --- I guess this becomes a habit
2. "head nod" merely indicates we Indians are listening and following what is being said. Period.
The Indian head nod was never an indication of yes or no, of understanding or not understanding... We are shy people, we are taught to respect elders and to not question them, to do what we are asked to do by them... In India, if you say "you don't know or you have not understood" you are often labelled a dud... ...so, you can see why this upbringing often puts us in a quandary when we work with westerners..call it cultural interpretations, for lack of better words...
When our bosses talk to us, we are so overwhelmed that we hesitate to open our mouths... when our western colleagues talk to us, we go through the same emotion... we don't want to be labelled duds are work... so what do we do? We keep quite... we want to take the time to process what we have heard and then come back with questions... Times are changing though...with increased awareness, I have seen many Indian colleagues not shy away from asking questions or saying No or openly admitting they haven't understood...
A trainer, I once met, offers Global Culture training and specializes in India and Indian culture training. I was reminded of her yesterday and again wondered how different people's interpretations would be if they took the time to understand why/how people behave and what it indicates...
We often jump to conclusions and don't stop to think if your words are hurting someone or perhaps people do it deliberately because they know when we are in their country, we are too scared to confront them...perhaps this is a reflection of their upbringing and not something WE need to fidget about...
How did this story end yesterday? Well, the 2 ladies and their dog came to the car rental office. As we were signing our rental papers, we heard the staff asking the ladies to leave and the manager in charge clearly directed his staff not to drop these ladies back to the drop location in their shuttle because they were offensive...
To come back to the story... I moved to the front of the van and told the ladies I was scared of the dog so was moving away... usually foreigners are very understanding people and I believed they understood my need to move away from the dog...
shortly another family got in and the van started towards the rental car office, which was approximately 2 kms away. I heard a comment being made, "I work in IT and all workers are Indians. I am learning Hindi... oh..how Indians wobble their head...its so funny".
Now, being in IT, this is a comment I have heard way tooooo many times to my liking... the westerners (i am using this word to identify all white people) call it "the great indian head nod". And most of the time, I have heard, smiled and walked away...
However, yesterday, it got me thinking. There is truth in it that we Indians nod our head one too many times... and as I mulled over it, I realized few things:
1. Since childhood, Indian elders always ask us to "nod our head" to indicate we have understood whatever they are telling us --- I guess this becomes a habit
2. "head nod" merely indicates we Indians are listening and following what is being said. Period.
The Indian head nod was never an indication of yes or no, of understanding or not understanding... We are shy people, we are taught to respect elders and to not question them, to do what we are asked to do by them... In India, if you say "you don't know or you have not understood" you are often labelled a dud... ...so, you can see why this upbringing often puts us in a quandary when we work with westerners..call it cultural interpretations, for lack of better words...
When our bosses talk to us, we are so overwhelmed that we hesitate to open our mouths... when our western colleagues talk to us, we go through the same emotion... we don't want to be labelled duds are work... so what do we do? We keep quite... we want to take the time to process what we have heard and then come back with questions... Times are changing though...with increased awareness, I have seen many Indian colleagues not shy away from asking questions or saying No or openly admitting they haven't understood...
A trainer, I once met, offers Global Culture training and specializes in India and Indian culture training. I was reminded of her yesterday and again wondered how different people's interpretations would be if they took the time to understand why/how people behave and what it indicates...
We often jump to conclusions and don't stop to think if your words are hurting someone or perhaps people do it deliberately because they know when we are in their country, we are too scared to confront them...perhaps this is a reflection of their upbringing and not something WE need to fidget about...
How did this story end yesterday? Well, the 2 ladies and their dog came to the car rental office. As we were signing our rental papers, we heard the staff asking the ladies to leave and the manager in charge clearly directed his staff not to drop these ladies back to the drop location in their shuttle because they were offensive...
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